Kardashian: The Musical

NORTH WEST:

How could one woman take her family of girls

BLAC CHYNA:

And make a media dynasty that took over the world

KYLIE JENNER:

You can criticise and play a hate and say you don't care

KENDALL JENNER:

But the Met Ball would suck if their asses weren't there

KOURTNEY:

So with E!, Instagram, Snapchat and the ESPYs

KHLOE:

They fuss and fight and disrespect but always end up besties

KIM:

These Calabasas queens give us life, their so glam

EVERYONE:

And here's how this clan became the new royal fam.....

KIM KARDASHIAN:

Fam...ily...

EVERYONE:

LES DEUX NIGHTCLUB, HOLLYWOOD, 2006

BRITNEY SPEARS:

Oh yeah yeah yeah

I'm Britney and you should hear how I sing

LINDSAY LOHAN:

I'm Lindsay (cough) and fire crotch is my thang

PARIS HILTON:

That's hot, I'm Paris and I don't have to do anything

BRITNEY:

No...

PARIS HILTON:

But bitches bow down cause I'm new miss thing

BRITNEY, LINDSAY AND PARIS:

Paparazzi poppin pictures cause' we dress so fancy

BRITNEY:

Alright

BRITNEY, LINDSAY AND PARIS:

But Perez only posts when we're not wearing panties

BRITNEY:

Oops I think I just did it again

LINDSAY LOHAN:

Hey you, get out the way, our pussies are on fire

KIM KARDASHIAN:

No, they're just on displa-yay-yay-yay

BRITNEY, LINDSAY AND PARIS:

(talking)

Oh my God, she's right

Oh my God, it's totally out

Yeah

PARIS HILTON:

Anyways

Who are you?

KIM KARDASHIAN:

I'm Kim

BRITNEY SPEARS:

Kim Who?

THE KARDASHIANS:

Kimberly Kardashian

LINDSAY LOHAN:

Who?

THE KARDASHIANS:

Kimberly Kardashian

BRITNEY SPEARS:

That's what I thought you said

KIM KARDASHIAN:

Hey Britney, can I be in your gang?

LINDSAY LOHAN:

If you hold our Birkin bags then maybe you can hang (cough)

KIM KARDASHIAN:

Hey Paris, how'd you get so famous?

PARIS HILTON:

You make a home movie and you just act shameless

KIM KARDASHIAN:

(talking)

What kind of movie?

EVERYONE:

KRIS'S OLD HOUSE, CALABASAS, 2007

KRIS:

Kimmy I should be your manager, you know since I'm your mom

KHLOE:

Mom, you're such an amateur

KOURTNEY:

You're definitely bomb

EVERYONE:

Momager

KRIS:

That's me

Is that absurd?

Kourt, Khlo, I think I just made up a word

EVERYONE:

Momager

KRIS:

I'll put you on a TV Show

I'll film you eating salad and we'll rake in the dough

EVERYONE:

Momager

KIM, KOURTNEY AND KHLOE:

We're sist-er-errrs ah oooohh

Sisters...

KIM KARDASHIAN:

I'm Kim and I'm the bombshell

Banging booty you know well

There's Ray J then Kanye with a pit-stop in the NBA

And I break the internet every other day

Suckers

KHLOE KARDASHIAN:

I'm Khloe

And I only date ballers

Revenge bod that makes them all holla

As the gay boys favourite, you know it's true

It's large in the charge, but you already knew-ooh ooh

Sisters

KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN

Are you keeping up?

I'm Kourtney, I'm the little big sister in the family

I'm educated, with a college degree

So why do I let Scott stick his Disick in me

KIM, KOURTNEY AND KHLOE:

We're sist-er-errrs ah oooohh

We're the OG three

KRIS JENNER:

Don't you mean four, like four sisters

KIM, KOURTNEY AND KHLOE:

Mom...

Sist-er-errrs ah oooohh

It's the U.S of K

No ones gonna come take that away

Sisters

EVERYONE:

KRIS'S NEW HOUSE, CALABASAS, 2014

KENDALL AND KYLIE:

Hello.... hello

KRIS JENNER:

Kendall, Kylie, please report to your momager

KENDALL AND KYLIE:

We love our big sisters

They're oh so adoring

But your storylines were starting to

Get a little boring

We were in the background

But we've come along way

Now you can't spell Kardashian without a big fat J

Get it...Yeah

KENDALL JENNER:

Hey my name is Kendall

And I'm a supermodel

I took to the runway like a baby with a bottle

I've walked for Oscar, Karl and Dion Von Fursty

I shine in the limelight while my sisters are thirsty

KYLIE JENNER:

I'm Kylie

I'm the one with the lips

80 million fans with my make-up tips

I've got my own clothing and my own mouth plumper

Got a Jenner face and a Kardashian dumper

KENDALL AND KYLIE:

We've got the best selling apps

We're an online addiction

Sisters ruling the world

And we'll keep on kicking...ass

BLAC CHYNA:

Don't think y'all can do this without me

Blac Chyna up in here uh, Blac Chyna

I'm a video vixen of Ameri-kardashian

Sisters wanna come for me

Suck it, I'm trashin em'

Had a Baby with Tyga

But he dumped me for Kylie

I'm the Kardashian wrecking ball

But don't call me Miley

I'm stealing the spotlight

And one can help me

While you biting my coat tails and liking my selfies

Uh alright

I'm out (x4)

EVERYONE:

OUTER SPACE, 2025

NORTH WEST:

This new American dynasty has only just begun

Next is the galaxy so step aside hun

My name is North West

Don't be acting all distressed

I became the best of the rest by nursing on Kim's breasts

I'm the new face of rep reality royalty

Had my first fragrance out while I was only age three

President at nine, then queen of the milky way

Then I cured cancer, yes it started with a K

Now Kim is now my momager but Kris is still here

She gon' be running this show for 3000 more years

Selfie, click

BRITNEY SPEARS:

Do we still take selfies in the future?

PARIS HILTON:

That's hot

EVERYONE:

The greatest story ever told

And we've only just begun

KIM, KOURTNEY AND KHLOE:

We're not famous for nothing

EVERYONE:

We're the Kardashians

KRIS JENNER:

Kar-dassshii-annnss

KIM KARDASHIAN:

Now streaming on DVD