Headfirst

Maybe I'm not, maybe I am ready to love again
There's one way to find, that is to dive in headfirst
I think that I could try
Start on you and I
Maybe I could dive in headfirst

I could dive in like open water
Tell you 'bout my mom and all about my father
And how I once was married to a pastor's daughter
I guess I could
I'm not accustomed to opening up
I've fallen in love before, but it wasn't enough
And now I'm ashamed like it's sin
6'3", curly blonde hair and a lot of love to give

And now I'm wondering
If being alone to being afraid to being alone
Makes it worth it to jump again
Will I just go numb again?
And do something dumb again?
Like cheat on my best friend?

A familiar, anxious spiral
I could write these words a thousand times and recite them like my Holy Bible
Maybe falling in love is vital
And if I don't try now, I won't be able to when I'd like to

Maybe I'm not, maybe I am ready to love again
There's one way to find, that is to dive in headfirst
I think that I could dive in headfirst

After all the things I've done
The last time, how I fucked it up
Do I really want new love?
Do I even want new love?

Cause I'm tired of being alone to being afraid of being alone forever
I wanna find love, but lately I'm thinking that I'm not enough
And whether I could dive in headfirst

Could call you up and talk on the phone
Hold your hand and travel the world
Read new books and write our own
We'd make love, create new blood, become old folks together
Dive in headfirst