A Modern Lay

[Verse 1]

Jenny found herself in the supermarket line

With the crossword editor of the New York Times

She said, "How does it feel to be so well-read?

I can't even guess what you're reading"

He says, "I know I'm a big-shot literary boss

But I do not intend to die on that cross

I make what I earn, and I won't take no less

I'm not writing birthday greetings."

And then Jenny's blood ran hot

She said, "I'm not one for desk jockeys, but I'll give you a shot."

[Chorus]

Love in the United States

Empathy makes mе a modern lay

American kids swing the Amеrican way

What do you learn from your lover?

[Verse 2]

Tommy works all day sewing baseball gloves

Well, he's up all night watching Punch Drunk Love

He writes fanfiction on the factory floor

Mostly concerning Fernando

And then one fine day on the production line

Fernando says, "Hey Tommy, I'm runnin' out of time!

I'm 28 years old, at the edge of my prime

And I can't even play the piano."

And Tommy says, "Well, hell, Fern, neither can I

Do you wanna come over and watch a movie sometime?"

[Chorus]

Love in the United States

Empathy makes me a modern lay

American kids swing the American way

What do you learn from your lover?

[Bridge]

Folks, we're nearing the end here. You've been a lovely audience

You just look like a— like a million bucks. If all fifteen of you split that up, you could— uh, well— Anyway, we've got one more stop on this humble escapade through the Great American Bedroom. Ahem. Isaac? Lovely

[Verse 3]

Margaret starts with an absinthe mist

Tops it off with a lemon twist

Slides a lowball glass down the bar

To a new face in a yellow raincoat

Wrings the rag out and wipes down the wood

Starts to feel like she don't feel so good

Steals a glance at an old Polaroid

Tacked up by the Bushmills

Danny outside The Divine Lorraine

Just standing there in the pouring rain

One year from the day he died

Smiling like a child

She hears a crackle from the back of the room

Slow fade-in on a Neil Young tune

Turns around at the end of the bar

Sees another smile

And Margaret says, "Hey, stranger, let me ask you a question

You don't look like a dancer, but would you make an exception?"

[Chorus]

Love in the United States

Empathy makes me a modern lay

American kids swing the American way

What do you learn from your lover?

Love in the United States

Make it while you're paying off your FHA

American kids swing the American way

What do you learn from your lover?

What do you learn from your lover?

What do you learn from your lover?