Heavenhead

I'll end up on a hill
Converted care home
Pulling on oxygen
Intent on collapsing
You were here 20 years ago
Told me to be more compassionate
They found your car in the lake
With the girl from your soccer team
Your parents ignored it

My heavenhead
I'm afraid to admit
When the boatman comes my way
I'll be standing on the shore
Begging for that tidal wave

Holding onto your hand
Said I ain't died young so I guess I'm no good
Yeah my dad gave me a good life
And I wasted everything I could
You said the pain will find me
That my head don't fit in the socket right
Why waste my time with changing
Baby that shit's overrated

My heavenhead
I'm afraid to admit
When the boatman comes my way
I'll be standing on the shore
Begging for that tidal wave

It's my head under our first car
You're backlit on the driveway
My fist into the dry wall
It always ends the same
Hanging in the doorframe
And all my neurons firing
Over your shoulder in the mirror
And the thought it sends me spiraling

And I'm afraid to admit
When the boatman comes my way
I'll be standing on the shore
Begging for that tidal wave