I'm Awesome

Awesome, Awesome, Awesome, Awesome
I don't necessarily have to be here for this
I'm gonna keep the headphones though
I'm awesome
No you're not dude, don't lie
I'm awesome
I'm driving round in my mom's ride
I'm awesome
A quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online
I'm awesome
I will run away from a brawl
I'm awesome
There's no voice mail nobody called
I'm awesome
I can't afford to buy eight balls
And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall
You know my pants sag low(low)
Even though(though) that went out of style like
Ten years ago(go)
Spose... I got the swagger of a cripple
I got little biceps, getting fatter in the middle
And lyrically I'm not the best
Physically the opposite of Randy Moss and yet so preposterous
Feel the awesomeness the most obnoxious guest up at the sausage fest
Oh yes
The girls are repulsed so I hide in my hood like I'm joining a cult
Uh huh
I'm as nervous as my cattle dirty Curtis
All my writtens are bitten and all my verses are purchased
Me, I'll never date an actress
Got too many back zits
Plus my whole home aroma is cat piss
Every show I do is poorly promoted and if you like this
It's cause my little sister wrote it
I'm awesome
No you're not dude, don't lie
I'm awesome
I'm driving round in my mom's ride
I'm awesome
A quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online
I'm awesome
I will run away from a brawl
I'm awesome
There's no voice mail nobody called
I'm awesome
I can't afford to buy eight balls
And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall
I'm awesome

*The swagger of a cripple*

Check it out
I'm from Maine and I don't hunt -nope- and I can't ski
Smoke weed but I can't roll blunts
Might be wit with my wifey my necks not icy
Eatin' at Mcdonalds because subways pricey
Uh and my unibrow plucked
Just asked my mom if I could borrow ten bucks
She's like for what
Blunt wraps and some Heinekens
You skinny
Go get a gym membership and vitamins
I'm like mom please don't blame it on me i got my bad habits from
You, dad, and aunt Steve
My attitudes sour but my futon's sweet
And the hair on my ass it is Jumanji
Suit's untailored ringtone Taylor Swift
Can't tweet upon my twitter cause i haven't done shit
Bank account red
Body ungroomed
The only good thing about me is I'm off stage soon
I'm awesome
No you're not dude, don't lie
I'm awesome
I'm driving round in my moms ride
I'm awesome
A quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online
I'm awesome
I will run away from a brawl
I'm awesome
There's no voice mail nobody called
I'm awesome
I can't afford to buy eight balls
And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall
I'm awesome
Further more I'm cornier than ethanol
Cheesier than provolone
I spent ages eight to ten living in a motor home
With a ego the size of Tim Duncan
Even though I got shit for brains like a blumpkin
I'm twenty four serving lobster rolls
Because I spent a decade filling optimous and I'm not even the bomb
In Maine
On my game I'm only about as sexy as John McCain
Now put your hands up if you have nightmares
If you wouldn't man up if there was a fight here
If you got dandruff
If you drink light beer
I'm out of breath
But I'm awesome
No, you're not dude, don't lie
I'm awesome
I'm driving round in my moms ride
I'm awesome
A quarter of my life gone by
And I met all my friends online
I'm awesome
I will run away from a brawl
I'm awesome
There's no voice mail nobody called
I'm awesome
I can't afford to buy eight balls
And I talk to myself on my Facebook wall
I'm awesome