Eminem Sway In The Morning Freestyle

[Verse: Eminem (Paul Rosenberg/Sway)]

Let's take them back to the future (bars)

Bars, like Paul Rosenberg

The small frozen turd (don't censor me man)

Alright look, I had class, I just got expelled

I excelled at nothing in school

So if you're tryna test my patience it just failed

But King Mathers, I still get hailed

So call me sire, like I exhaled

After I had a deep ass breath held

I guess well, that'll make my size double XL

So kiss your highness's hinded ass

While I'm trying to stretch, it's time to exercise

I'm flexing, isometrics

Twice the reps 'til I get extra-sized

And set my bis and pecs and triceps on fire

Cause I'm coming out guns blazing

Like flaming pythons, my suggestion is parental discretion

Be advised, due to this mental aggression

We advise you to back up, like Byron Leftwich

I'm infectious, I rhyme like I got a sinus infection

A virus, I'm congested and I just ingested

Five Allegras but the side effects from these anti-depressants, they're tryna mess with my mind

I'm a regular Hyde and Jekyll

White with freckles but I silence hecklers

You might wanna head for the fire exits

I'm coming through like a wrecking ball

You would swear I think highly of Miley

And I respect her, the way I backhand her

Excuse my French, Montana, but I am worried about nutting

God damn it, I'm a sexist, I drive a Lexus

Textses out of her mind, and I'm in Texas

With a chainsaw, wait, what did I forget this

Time, oh, my machetes getting upset, he said

He was ready for me to come get him from inside the shed

It was time, he's restless

He wants to make blood shed like a storage unit

But before I do it, let me think this through

Cause if I behead this bitch then I'd be headless [slurping noise]

Mic check, one, two

I ain't barely check the mic just yet

And I just sweared like twice as many times

In less than ninety seconds

Than Andrew fucking Dice ever did in his fucking life

But I guess I'm expected to make these kinds of violent records

It's why I keep rhyming reckless

Fuck it, I swear, like a diamond necklace

Since freestyling over phone tap, my line's connected

With rhymes that kept in touch with the fans, that's why the more bars, the better my reception

And I give a fuck about sales, and fuck pop, I don't even like refreshments

Cindy Crawford tryna fend me off with a bendy straw

At the waffle house, awful mouth

But if you don't like what I'm talking about then block me out

Just then Foxy Brown, walks up and knocks me down

Kicks me and socks me, ow

Apparently still mad over what I said last year

On that Vegas track, I just look stupid and stand there

And try to act like I can't hear

What? Sorry dear, but I think Pam Grier just stuck a tampon in my damn ear

That's when my man Denaun Porter ran behind me to pantomime

That if you wanna kick his ass, stand in line

Hands inside my pants as I fantasize taking advantage

Of Brandy and Janet by grabbing my Spanish Fly

Like a blind Hispanic guy with his zipper stuck

Give a fuck, it's all part of my grand design

To get Amanda Bynes to come and fucking blow me like a dandelion

Better watch your step, you 'bout to cross an outlandish mine

I'm what you get if Aaron Hernandez rhymed

So stand aside unless you plan to find out how handy I am with a branding iron

Fuck talking clear so you all can hear

I'd rather rap like a fucking auctioneer

Fuck around and walk from here to the Southpaw premier

Get on Paul's back, rapping "Paul Revere"

So call me queer, cause I'm always weird

So praise a Genius, hope this don't get taken out of text

But Hillary, I promise to wipe my server clean if you face subpoenas

Got a name that speaks for itself like Anthony Weiner

Hands in between my pants in a theater, jacking my meat

A fan of Trina, Angelina, and Christina and Serena and Selena

Scarlett Johansson, Tiffani Amber Thiessen

Give me a damn good reason and not wanna slip an Ambien in the Cappuccino

And try to have a 3-sum with Janet Reno

I'm fucked worse than Donald Trump

On Lexapro in Mexico across from a Texaco in McDonald's drunk

Broke and out of gas, busted water pump

Getting fondled up by Ronald, feeling him on his rump

Oh yeah, and me and Alyssa Milano hump

We do

Bringing the horror to emcees like the aura of the Run DMC fedora

Addidas and Diadoras but I need at least three to four of those Rita Oras

In a four seater Taurus but tell them my face is the best seat in the house

I’ll let them bleed in my mouth while I’m eating them out (that’s disgusting, ow Jesus)

Heat seeking missile, duck, demented, sick, hate and see who gives a fuck

I invented prick, and that’s a true statement, I see the bitch in you Caitlyn

I keep the pistol tucked like Bruce Jenner’s dick

No disrespect though, not at all, no pun intended, that took a lot of balls (ay God damn)

Oh and Azealia Banks just wanna tell you thanks

Now I got trailer skanks sending me Ball Park Franks in the mail as pranks

And Hot Pockets, thanks a lot

Awful, I made monopoly off misogyny

Sodomy, how many chocolatey jell-o pops can he possibly lace, walking atrocity

No wonder you scoff at me, it’s still obvious I’m as off-putting as Bill Cosby is

Treat women like property, possessive like a noun with an apostrophe

S’s, I’d probably stalk broccoli, yes it’s

Socrates with a block of cheese and a dollar stuck in this soda pop machine

Got emcees dropping to knees, copping a plea bargain

They keep sobbing, like, “please stop it”

Aftermath, bitch, still Detoxing

Looking for us? We over here

Like we’re eavesdropping