Assume The Perpendicular

Slip on your Barbour jacket

Jump in my old MG

We’re off to the depths of Somerset

To see what we can see see see

We don’t wanna drink the cider

We don’t wanna walk for miles

We just want to go to a stately home

Built in the Georgian style

I can’t abide a horizontal life

It’s time to rise

Assume the perpendicular

Jump up and down

Make complimentary sounds

And talk about nothing in particular

Crunch up the gravel driveway

Gasp at the grand facade

Just for today we’re lords and ladies

Oh what a gay charade!

Lavinia loves the lintels

Anna, the architraves

Ben’s impressed by the buttresses

Thrust up the chapel nave

I can’t abide a horizontal life

It’s time to rise

Assume the perpendicular

Jump up and down

Make funny little sounds

And talk about nothing in particular

We’ll walk the grounds

By Capability Brown

Get lost for days

Inside the manicured maze

We’ll bump our heads

Jumping on a four-post bed

And we’ll ride for free

On the ladders round the walls of the circular library

I can’t abide a horizontal life

It’s time to rise

Assume the perpendicular

Jump up and down, make wild ecstatic sounds

And talk about nothing in particular

Nothing in particular…