Bernadette

I don't wanna leave, Bernadette

But I don't wanna live with the jet set

I don't wanna leave with you payin' all my debts

With that alimony, palimony, whatever it is you get

Ooh, Bernadette, you are so expensive

You've never done a day's work in your life

You've got no incentive

You've made a career out of punting off all of the men you've slept with

Ooh, Bernadette, you are so expensive

I can't get a job, Bernadette

So all that I can offer are a lot of bad debts

If you marry me, Bernadette

You'll lose the alimony, palimony, whatever it is you get

Ooh, Bernadette, you are so expensive

You've never done a day's work in your life

You've got no incentive

You've made a career out of punting off all of the men you've slept with

Ooh, Bernadette, you are so expensive

Ooh, Bernadette, Bernadette

Ooh, Bernadette, Bernadette

(Bernadette's got a house in the country

She's really got it made

Her lawyers made her filthy rich

She's got all expenses paid)

Maybe a famous rock star will fly you away

Then you'll eat him all up

And spit him out

With a dash of Perrier

And when you've had enough

You'll throw him away

And take him for all you can get

Yeah, you like it don't you, Bernadette?

I don't want to leave Bernadette

But I wanna keep a little bit of self respect

I don't want to leave with you paying all my debts

With that alimony, palimony, whatever it is you get

Ooh, Bernadette, you are so expensive

You've never done a day's work in your life

You've got no incentive

Women like you oughta be locked up

For giving others a bad name

Ohh, Bernadette, you are so expensive

Ooh, Bernadette, Bernadette

Ooh, Bernadette

I think you're sad