Humanhood

[Verse 1]

Maybe if I go down to the water

Maybe I can get back into my body

It's a hot day, shitty

There's weeds in the breakers

There's kids throwing tantrums and circling teenagers

I was changing in the bushes

Strip the clothes from my thighs

Crouching for a second, bare my skin to the sky

Sweating, hidden in the cottonwood and vines

My mind glitching, kinda

Thinking dark thoughts lately

And maybe I should admit to somebody

It's been feeling cut off lately

[Verse 2]

Thinking, was I a person?

All I ever knew was I, every morning

That I wake up in two eyes

I walked down the beach

Squinting in the light

Across the dirty sand, еxposed

[Chorus]

Carrying this humanhood

I went carrying this humanhood

I've been carrying this humanhood

Tryna makе good on it

[Verse 3]

You always tell me I would walk without grace

Something awkward in how I brush the hair from my face

It could be better if I'd just listen, if I'd change

I slip into the cold shock of waves and dive under

[Verse 4]

Roll, and look up from under, blurred light

Blue, white, blue, white

Ripples that smash

Shore into sky, shore into sky

Weightless for a second, I swim

Just breathing

[Chorus]

I've been carrying this humanhood

I'm carefully carrying this humanhood

Ungracefully carrying this body

That's tired from carrying a mind

[Bridge]

This citizenship in this personal life, I guess

This citizenship in this history, in this moment in time

This fragile life, one of a generation that might end this world I guess

Nobody tells you how to bear this

Was I really as you say?

Untruthful, untrustworthy you tell me

Or always falling out of my body when I'm afraid

Always afraid, can't seem to stay

Bear the weight of it, I guess

[Chorus]

Carrying this humanhood

It looked like a burden

Carrying this humanhood

(For lack of decision, too mangled a living)

Carrying this humanhood

(Too entangled a vision)

Sacred though

Precious, oh