Postman Pat

[Verse 1]

They call me the postman

Cause I give them letters on time

I rap but I sound better on grime

I'm strapped but not with a metal or 9

I've migrated to MySpace and it is TinieLegend

T-I-N-I-E-L-E-G-E-N-D

So hit me up if you're ever online

I spit the truth, ain't never on lying

Most of these guys are better off blind

'Cause they ain't seen half the shit they say

And they keep telling us lies

What a bunch of stupid pricks

Talking like they move food

Don't you motherfuckers use a fridge?

I'm hot like kettles so I've told labels

That I won't settle or sign

Till I see one more zero

Then we can all just get along fine

And we can toast Amaretto, unwind

I've clearly made good use of the English language

So you MCs best start taking up sign

My music's making up minds

I end relationships and begin them

By just making up rhymes

Just listen to "Tears" and "Wifey"

Some can't believe I ain't signed

But I can

Cause my plan is to rule the world first like titans

Oh, by the way I'm

[Hook]

Postman Pat, Postman Pat

Postman Pat, Postman Pat (so they call me)

Postman Pat, Postman Pat

Postman Pat, Postman Pat (don't you know my name is)

Postman Pat, Postman Pat

Postman Pat, Postman Pat (even your Mrs calls me)

Postman Pat because I open that flap

And then I post my pack and before she knows it, I'm back

[Verse 2]

They call me Postman Pat

I'll come outside most man's flats

I ain't your average MC

I'm much doper than that

Let's see if you can cope an attack

I can kill and bury an MC for you

I just need 32 bars, some rope and a sack

I can murk two MCs like

Uh, you guys are shifty

You've both come back from the mountain

And both of you have broken your backs

So focused, more focused than Pac

Write in the car while they buss joke at the back

That's why I make hits frequently

And you put all your hope on a track

And you want the track on air so much

You kiss one hundred DJs' arses

Still they don't play your tune

Nope, 'cause that's their choice

I've only ever heard it on radio once

Bless ya

But for every DJ you know

I know 1Xtra

Et cetera, et cetera

My raps are so good that when you finally understand

You gon' giggle

I don't sell drugs but my breds can get

Some real cheap food, no Lidl's

I'm so little, my haircut's so colourful

Looks like someone's thrown Skittles

Post my nigga door with the nine

Oops, I mean at nine

[Hook]

Postman Pat, Postman Pat

Postman Pat, Postman Pat (so they call me)

Postman Pat, Postman Pat

Postman Pat, Postman Pat (don't you know my name is)

Postman Pat, Postman Pat

Postman Pat, Postman Pat (even your Mrs calls me)

Postman Pat because I open that flap

And then I post my pack and before she knows it, I'm back

[Outro]

Yeah, and Postman Patrick has only got three goals like a hat trick, yeah

To be signed, to be rich and to go out with a supermodel

And that's it

Don't act like you don't know who Postman Pat is

All you MCs waiting for your gyro every couple of weeks, haha

I'm out

Ayy, get me a drink, man

[Postman Pat Sample]

Postman Pat, Postman Pat

Postman Pat and his black and white-

"White man makes gun"

Early in the morning

"Black rapper says gun. Congressional hearing. Like oh my god, that nigga said gun! And he rhymed it with fun!"