Too Dumb for New York City

When I first saw New York City, I was green down to the core
You could see my red neck glowing for a mile or maybe more
Between the hustlers and the hookers, I must have made their day
They peeled me like an apple, Lord, and sent me on my way
When you're pushed and shoved, almost mugged, it ain't no place to be
So I came to one conclusion, New York ain't for me
From sea to shining sea and coast to coast
Somewhere in the middle is the land I love the most
I ain't California pretty, I can't survive the great white way
I'm too dumb for New York City, and too ugly for LA
Well, I made my way to Tinseltown, to Hollywood and Vine
Out among those pretty faces, I'd surely find a place for mine
The way I walk, the way I talk, they'll hang on every word
But don't call me, I'll call you is all I ever heard
In LA what they're thinking ain't what they talk about
At least in New York City, there's never any doubt
From sea to shining sea and coast to coast
Somewhere in the middle is the land I love the most
I ain't California pretty, I can't survive the great white way
I'm too dumb for New York City, and too ugly for LA
I'm too dumb for New York City, and too ugly for LA