You know what’s easier than following around your fave up-and-coming indie-stroke-pop stars, day in, day out, to see what they’re up to? Asking them. Here’s what Dork's fave new popster CMAT's day looks like.

I’m a night owl, but I try to get up early-ish at the moment to get some rollerskating in. I love rollerskating because I saw a lady on TikTok rollerskating with a beer in her hand, and I thought, ‘that’s a bit of me’. What’s frustrating is that I’ve been practising loads and am still really bad, whereas my sister is Torvill and Deane-ing it around the gaff. Also, the other morning I was out, and this creep started cycling around me in circles to ask for my number, so I had to skate away from him at speed, which I was not very adept at. 9 in the morning of a Tuesday, sir?? Do you think I am looking for a beau right now??

This is around when I have my first meal of the day because before that, I’ve caned two Diet Cokes into me for energy, so my tummy is a bit gippy. I recently realised that my PCOS symptoms have gotten really bad (there is stubble on my NECK), so I have had to start having porridge every day with loads of flaxseed and multivitamins lumped in to help ease my flare-up. Every day as I’m fisting that stuff into my mouth, I curse my reproductive organs and think about having a fry up.

I’m in the studio every day at the moment working on production for some new stuff, and usually, by this point, I am distracting Oli (Deakin, big legend) with some low-stakes conspiracy theories I’ve read on the internet. I do be like, ‘Hey! Hey!! Did you know that there’s a theory that Ikea make their furniture about 3cm bigger for their showrooms than they do for their flat packs? So that it’s big enough to feel more impressive but not big enough to be noticeable?’ And then he’s like, ‘please can we do some work’.

I’m usually like five cans of Diet Coke deep by this time in the studio, so it’s time for me to eat a big meal again or suffer hallucinations. There’s a place nearby called Natural Natural that sells Japanese groceries. Weird thing about the place, though - they’ve been doing so well recently that they bought the shop front beside them to expand their business. Great news! Except they have installed another sign instead of getting one big one to reach across the entire expansion. So now what we have is a shop called Natural Natural Natural Natural. Everyone seems to be ok with this? I’ve asked some of the girls who work in Natural Natural Natural Natural about it, and they just laughed at me, and said, haha yeah, I guess that’s funny, and got on with their day. But I continue to be haunted by this. Natural Natural Natural Natural. If they expand again, I might have a breakdown.

I don’t really do 8pms anymore. I usually just work or socialise for like 5 hours straight, tunnel-vision style, and to be honest, I’m not really one of those people who ever knows what time, day, week or sometimes even month it is. 6pm to like 10pm, I become an amalgamation of my physical self, pretending to be present in front of other people, and just amazing vibes.

This is when it gets good. I take my makeup off, knock back a pint of water and some Buscopan, and then surf the web. I got a new fancy laptop to be able to do mobile recording work on a few months ago, and truly all I have used it for is to watch Run BTS! Videos in extremely high definition. YouTube, I believe, is still the greatest gift that has ever been given to us by the internet, even if the algorithm has become so mangled that I could be watching a 45-minute long video of a man silently carving a woodblock for printing art, and it still puts ‘So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings’ by Caroline Polachek in the’ related’ playlist. I like to get lost in the comments sections of old songs and think about what it must be like to be the man who leaves a 1000-word essay about his long-lost high school girlfriend under the video for ‘Rainy Days & Mondays’ by The Carpenters.

Stick on my white noise machine and try not to cry thinking about the man who left a 1000-word essay about his long-lost high school girlfriend under the video for ‘Rainy Days & Mondays’ by The Carpenters. Susan, if you’re out there, I still love you!