Meeting God.
What’s your most niche, useless talent?
Juggling, because I didn’t have friends when I was younger.
I broke my nose when I was 14 because I thought it would be a good idea to go down a slide backwards. My friend Jack went down forward, and of course, his foot went into my nose. (Not his fault, it was my idea.)
My girlfriend’s lamp, by accident, and then I spilt hot sauce everywhere.
What’s the pettiest hill you’ll absolutely die on?
Just print more money.
Have you ever had a nemesis who didn’t know they were your nemesis?
Yes, the royal family.
What was your most unhinged fan era for another artist?
Justin Bieber, 'My World 2.0' era.
Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
Yes. When I was a kid, I fancied a cartoon wolf from this film called Balto, and then I sorted my shit out.
What’s the weirdest thing you believed as a child?
That I would be the first person to invent a hover car, and I was really pissed off when I found out they’d already been invented.
If you had to have one word tattooed on your face, what word would you have?
Phoebe.
What food do you irrationally hate even though you’ve never properly tried it?
Aniseed.
What’s a food combo you swear by, even though everyone else thinks it’s cursed?
Beer and cigarettes.
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever been genuinely scared of?
I’m really, really scared of wasps. If I see one, I will literally sprint a mile away. Fuck them all. Die, die, die.
If you could only eat one type of cheese for the rest of your life, which one would it be?
I’m vegan, but if I weren’t, I’d be a little freak with a can of American cheese spray.
What’s the spookiest thing you own?
An iPhone. It sucks dick.
If we gave you £10, what would you spend it on?
As many cans of Stella Artois as I can buy.
What’s something you secretly wish people asked you about more often?
How I got so good at backflips.
Who in the band is most likely to survive a zombie apocalypse, and who’s getting eaten first?
I reckon Selin would outlive me. All of our drummers are pretty strong, so probably me.
What did you last dream about?
I had a dream last night that I was watching fireworks by myself, and I thought, hey, where is everybody? Are they not seeing this?
What was your best-ever Halloween costume?
Willy Wonka, circa a dripped-up 2008 for me.
Mr Blobby. Why does he talk like that?
How far could you run, if your life depended on it?
To the nearest pub.
Which classic Halloween monster do you most identify with?
Probably a werewolf, because I love to roll around in the mud and bark at people.
What’s your worst ever attempt at being cool?
Probably this band.
What’s a red flag you happily ignore in yourself?
I pretend I don’t need ADHD meds, but I definitely do. I’m very dysfunctional a lot of the time.
The Candyman fucked with me so hard. I was such an anxious kid that my mum had to plaster up the mirror in my room because I was so scared the fucker was going to climb out at night.
My sister drew me a piece of art a few years ago, and it’s one of the most beautiful things I own.
If you could win a lifetime supply of anything, what would you choose?
Stella.
How punk are you out of ten?
Three.
I’d go back to the Palaeolithic period, around three million years ago, when cavemen were discovering tools, and just give them a Stella. I’d say, “Sorry, guys, it just gets worse from here. Have a beer instead.”
I’m anaemic. Most boring shit ever.
Have you ever seen a ghost?
Nah, but I do believe I have a guardian angel.
Taken from the October 2025 issue of Dork. Lambrini Girls tour the UK from 19th November
