We all need a bit of romance advice now and again. To give us all a helping hand this Valentine's Day, we've dug around the 2018 Dork archives to find one of our all-time Hall of Fame features - and quite probably the first time we realised that Sports Team weren't just another indie band. Enjoy!

Photos: April Arabella.

You may have noticed today is Valentines Day. February 14th, same as every year. And, let's be honest, you've fucked it up, haven't you? Either you've not found that perfect gift or card yet, or you're planning an evening in with Netflix and chilled dessert. But worry not, we've found an expert in the fine art of romance - Sports Team frontman Alex Rice. Follow his simple guide to the lexicon of love, and you'll be a winner in no time. Possibly.

They’ve been there. Before they had you, your parents were slamming sambuca shots and getting cosy in the back of their E Reg, Volvo Estate. They’re a valuable source of advice in the run-up to the big day.

There are loads of low-cost alternatives to an expensive dinner date. Most bowling alleys won’t make you hire a second pair of shoes, so if your date is the same size as you just share between throws. Easy.

You’ve lit the candles, filled up on bread and moistened your eyelids with some lynx Africa. There’s nothing like a romantic playlist to complete the set-up. Here’s a handy one straight from the love-locker. Use sparingly.

Some of you lotharios are going be tempted to dye your hair week of the 14th. However cool you might think that looks, you’ll actually have made yourself thoroughly unemployable outside the Magic Circle (the bad one). Pretty silly, as your potential spouse is going to want to know that you’ve got what it takes to deliver the goods in the boardroom and the bedroom.