Malcolm

Hey hey, hey hey, hey hey

I met a man in uniform Brighten up my day He never said where he was from And we were better off that way There was something in the way When he was polishing his buttons So in love with his reflection but the sparkle's gone Reckless with his seatbelt and his foot is on the pedal And his key's in the ignition but the handbrake's on

Hey hey, hey hey, hey hey Hey hey, hey hey

And every time I look around I see couples everywhere As if my world was falling down As if anyone would care Hugging and a-kissing It's a world that things are missing I ain't got a pot to piss in And I'm on my tod It's pretty inconceivable In fact it's unbelievable I'm not so bloody leaveable Oh my God

Hey hey, hey hey, hey hey Hey hey, hey hey

Keep me satisfied Keep me warm at night I'm not after all the sake or the sushi in Japan I'm waiting for my man

Hey hey, hey hey, hey hey Hey hey, hey hey

Around the time I took him back He had a handlebar moustache He was a hypochondriac And he looked like Graham Nash (The place that he lived in Was a really Really, really, really, really nice place) But I got sick and tired of trying to explain He wasn't dying, it was only influenza or a common cold He ran at my worst and went and got a proper nurse And then they hit it off together, now they're growing old

Hey hey, hey hey, hey hey Hey hey, hey hey

So I caught a fisherman instead But his chat was out of line Trying to get me into bed He said, "Your place or mine?"

But I had a killer comeback Funny feeling in my stomach Date a date, I took the bait The bugger reeled me in But I had to avoid it now That there was something 'bout his smile That it was tiny at the time But now it's wearing thin

Hey hey, hey hey, hey hey Hey hey, hey hey