RUINESS

I hate that stupid mouse Everything is so embarrassing still Critical interior pressure builds Caught looking through the crack in the door So bright, so destructive I want it Wish I could've figured it out Before I grew up enough to dodge the question Wish I could've given it all I had And crashed and burned or been anything Better than another name Fading into radiation I don't wanna be known, I just wanna be seen Let me go, drop me, let me be free I'm falling in between everything dear to me It never ends Where the fuck do I belong And why can I never commit to it? Is this all there is? Why can't I need anything Without it always being forbidden? I learned to be afraid of myself Now I'm always on the edge Always looking in Stupid fucking puppets haven't you heard? Whatever you think of me it's worse I don't have anywhere to turn and I like it Just wish I could still trust myself Nobody can ever return True contact once it occurs Avoid the eyes and try not to look back I've complicated so much shit In my cowardice When all that I wanted Was just for someone to see me But that is not who I am anymore I can see her behind me No life in her eyes I pull my self again to my feet I cannot ever let go I'll act my age and fucking fade away And give up all control And never show anything I wish someone would tell me All my hidden parts will become known Threat or comfort, I don't care As long as I can have the hope That I'm not alone