Burned Off

I'm placing a call It's a 1800 number I look up on my phone Stranger answers with a borrowed tone Say, "Hello, I've been wondering what My scissors can cut Besides my hair and this childish note" Wondered if I'd even feel it all, oh Wondered if I should have even made this call And if I took apart myself And every piece of me was all laid out I don't think I'd like what I saw And if I threw a lighted match Atop this mountain of filth and mess I don't think I'd miss what burned off No, I don't think that I'd miss what burned off And I wanna go I wanna hurt enough that makes it real enough That makes it understandable And I know that I can't live like this But what if there's times that I don't want to live at all And if I took apart myself And every piece of me was all laid out I don't think I'd like what I saw And if I threw a lighted match Atop this mountain of filth and mess I don't think I'd miss what burned off No, I don't think that I'd miss what burned off And I catch myself again by the yellow light Beating fluorescent And I unclench my jaw And I speak into the phone, say "I don't wanna die, just don't wanna be alone" And I always see-saw From good to bad and worst to fine The things I try to justify Never seem to stay that long Good to bad and worse to good And maybe every step I took was the wrong one after all I wanna take apart myself And get every piece of me all laid out And watch the bad things fall And if you saw what I did Would you be amazed or disgusted And want to watch it burn off? Do you want to watch it burn off? I want to watch it all burn off Good to bad and worse to fine The things I try to justify never seem to stay that long Good to bad and worse to good And maybe every step I took was the wrong one After all