Holding Down the Laughter

Styrofoam cup of mud in my good hand Disembodied voice of God in the trash can Eyes in the ashes, feeling for the future Sleeping through the stakeout, researching the rumor A mile, a motor, a mattress, a memory At first, you were embarrassed But how could you not be? Tangled and teenaged, mom at the movies Your voice ran out out of words It was awkward and holy The gospel in your belly, the ache a little lower "Back into the breach," you spoke as its owner A syndicated sermon you sang from the rafters Anchors in your pockets, holding down the laughter Tearing up your mind, your lust and your ego A slingshot reminder to speed your libido The parish goes to jelly, blissful and wasted Your Vishnu eye slips open and pictures them naked In complicating your worst mixed message You built then burnt a bridge And scattered all your crumbs at the cliff "If she wants me, she'll swim for it." Brother, can you spare your alms or your arrows? The thunderclaps are rising, I think that I should go home To the basement back on Jumel Street 1996 and you're waiting there to tell me "I didn't die, you dreamt it, you dreamt it I'm as alive as your best good intentions I'm sorry that I tricked you, you had to focus Put yourself together and clear out the garbage." But for all that effort That slow-burn struggle You forgot where you lived She swept away the clues from the cliff, you're lost now She swept away the clues from the cliff, you're lost now She swept away the clues from the cliff, you're lost now Remember it She swept away the clues from the cliff, you're lost now Remember it