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[Intro] This next song is from a record-breaking show And it really set a record It lasted nine previews and one performance This is true So I feel it's an important show And, um, the name of it was Another Evening with Harry Stoones Oh, you remember it, hmm Well anyway, here's the main song from it [Verse 1] Call me a boob Call me a schlemiel Call me a brain with a missing wheel Call me what you will But nonetheless I'm still In love with Harold Mengert And it's not because he has a car Arnie Fleischer has a car But a car is just a car And if Harold didn't have a car to his name I guess I'd love him just the same [Verse 2] Call me what you will But the nonetheless I'm still In love with Harold Mengert And it's not because he has a wealthy family Arnie Fleischer has a wealthy family But money isn't everything And if Harold didn't have a dime to his name I know I'd love him just the same [Bridge] But sometimes I ask myself, why then Do I then love Harold Menger? Harold isn't handsome, or clever, or smart And I don't find romance set to dance in his heart The only answers I can think of are Harold Mengert's money and Harold Mengert's car [Outro] Call me what you will But the nonetheless I'm still In love with Heshy Mengert Also Arnie Fleischer