My Broken Friend

[Intro: Bender the Robot] Ladies and gentleman, broken heaps of machinery... This is a song called "My Broken Friend." [Pre-Verse: Bender the Robot, Beck] People say my broken friend is useless, but I say his mind is free There's a lot of things my mangled robot friend could be... Kick it! [Verse 1: Bender the Robot, Beck] Well, he could make a good hat rack He only has to stand there Or a cheap doorstop He doesn't need to move Or a great big giant thermos with a twist-off top That would be good for soup He could be a storage closet for outdated pants I like 'em tight My broken friend could do it all Just give him a chance! [Verse 2: Bender the Robot, Beck] That robot has a tragic secret that I'd like to share For real? My broken friend is closer to me than an ass to a chair Mmm That robot's name I never told you Who's that? You could not foresee C'mon, give it up! I'll say it loud and sing it proud His name is you and me! [Verse 3: Bender the Robot, Beck] Don't melt me down into a crowbar It suffers alone Just 'cause I can't move my arms and legs Hey. Bender, what are you doing? Or toss me into a trash can Just 'cause I can't cook you ham and eggs What are you doing?! Don't crush me into an anchor Yo, what's the dilly-o?! Just 'cause I can't jump and dance and sing I'm telling you, my broken friend... Put your hands in the air like you just don't care! I'm telling you my broken friend can do most anything! Cut it!