My Broken Friend

[Intro: Bender the Robot]

Ladies and gentleman, broken heaps of machinery...

This is a song called "My Broken Friend."

[Pre-Verse: Bender the Robot, Beck]

People say my broken friend is useless, but I say his mind is free

There's a lot of things my mangled robot friend could be...

Kick it!

[Verse 1: Bender the Robot, Beck]

Well, he could make a good hat rack

He only has to stand there

Or a cheap doorstop

He doesn't need to move

Or a great big giant thermos with a twist-off top

That would be good for soup

He could be a storage closet for outdated pants

I like 'em tight

My broken friend could do it all

Just give him a chance!

[Verse 2: Bender the Robot, Beck]

That robot has a tragic secret that I'd like to share

For real?

My broken friend is closer to me than an ass to a chair

Mmm

That robot's name I never told you

Who's that?

You could not foresee

C'mon, give it up!

I'll say it loud and sing it proud

His name is you and me!

[Verse 3: Bender the Robot, Beck]

Don't melt me down into a crowbar

It suffers alone

Just 'cause I can't move my arms and legs

Hey. Bender, what are you doing?

Or toss me into a trash can

Just 'cause I can't cook you ham and eggs

What are you doing?!

Don't crush me into an anchor

Yo, what's the dilly-o?!

Just 'cause I can't jump and dance and sing

I'm telling you, my broken friend...

Put your hands in the air like you just don't care!

I'm telling you my broken friend can do most anything!

Cut it!