Uncle Walter

Come on! Your Uncle Walter's going on and on 'Bout everything he's seen and done The voice of 50 years experience He's drunk, watching the television You know, he's been around the world Last night he flew to Baghdad in his magical armchair With cigarettes and a six pack, yeah, he just got back Now the spit's flying everywhere Hey, hey, hey, hey Your Uncle Walter's going on and on Oh, you're back so late Where did you go that you were gone so long? How could you leave me here so long with Uncle Walter? Yeah Your Uncle Walter saw who fired the shots He drove his chair in the cavalcade He's flown from South Africa to countries where They beat themselves on the backs with chains Was a fleet of battleships and one reclining chair Headed north on the Arabian sea Now he's back to tell us what he and his oldest boy Blair They're getting rich with their mail order scheme Your Uncle Walter's going on and on We're so glad you're home Where did you go that you were gone so long? How could you leave me here so long with Uncle Walter? Your Uncle Walter told me everything he'd do if he was president No, what a perfect world this world would be if he was president now But he's not! And he sees the children smoking pot He knows that, in a moment, they'll be shooting up heroin Teardrops in his armchair A 50 minute lecture, tobacco juice rolling down his chin Hey, hey, hey, hey Your Uncle Walter's going on and on You're back so late Where did you go that you were gone so long? How could you leave me here so long with Uncle Walter? Come on!