Intellectual Boy

ADRIAN MOLE Honestly my family just don't understand me. Perhaps when I'm famous and my diary is discovered, people will understand the torment of being a 13 3/4 year-old intellectual It's so hard being deep I'm forever losing sleep Thinking grand and amazing things Like the birds and the bees How they make the holes and cheese And philosophies of kings And although I've got plans It seems no one understands All the torment Can't they see? That life is so hard For an intellectual boy like me I know! I'll send my poem to the BBC. Yеs! They'll know what to do with it. There's loads of intеllectuals there Dear man at the BBC Here's a piece of my poetry It's by me And you'll agree it's very smart Like a little piece of art And I know it all by heart Good start It could go on the radio You could put it on your show After a piece on violent dogs Walthamstow Everyone will know "The Tap" It will put me on the map What a piece of poetry Seriously These words they just flow out of me And surely you're bound to agree What this intellectual boy can be Yes, that's bound to impress Pandora! It's genius! As soon as she hears my poem live on Radio 4, she'll fall head over heels in love with me! ADRIAN MOLE / (ENSEMBLE) When I'm on the BBC Everyone will look at me What a sharp and dapper chap I'll have to be I will grow a big mustache I'll be looking really flash And the world will listen 'cause When you're 13 3/4 They don't really care But I'm 13 3/4 I'm so nearly there Just watch me I swear I'll be brave I'll be strong I'll be friends with Elton John And my spots will have gone away (his spots will have gone away) I'll be tall I'll be lean I'll be every woman's dream And I'll have sex every day (every day) And I won't live in strife 'Cause I'll find myself a wife Who will always make my tea So man at the BBC (Man at the BBC) Please take a chance on me So Mum and Dad and Grandma And everyone around will see ENSEMBLE His name up in lights ADRIAN MOLE / ENSEMBLE What an intellectual man I'll be ADRIAN MOLE I hope they like it. I wrote it in pen Yours faithfully Adrian Albert Mole