In Loving Memory

When trying hard not to remember makes you think about it more I stand up straight, you measure, and you mark it on the door Never saw you walk on water, but I watched you mother four You couldn't raise me like a father When we're choking on our child support Well, am I smart or just thinking really hard? Destined for dementia, doomed right from the very start And our trauma bond was tangled in tape from the VCR So sick to my stomach, I was force-fed the fear of the dark And when you lose all muscle memory Forget completely how to stand You know I won't let you forget me I'll come convince you who I am Make you understand Touch and go, now you see me, now you don't Phantom limb affection, crave the feeling of your ghost Now you're forging all the symptoms that you never had supposed Learning to live with them, said it's easier to live alone Sick from the soothing, drowning in dreams Shell-shocked in shelter, you'll pass in your sleep The thorn in my side was grown from your ground You're never before seen, never again found And when you lose all muscle memory Forget completely how to stand You know I won't let you forget me I'll come convince you who I am I came to see How the world looks without me Is it all you thought it'd be? Living in loving memory You built me a home inside a bucket And you're poking some holes up top so I can breathe Knew I was lying if I had to look away Do you think we'd be friends when we were younger? If I knew you back then, God knows who I would be Walking in semicircles to shape this baby face You built me a home inside a bucket And you're poking some holes up top so I can breathe Knew I was lying if I had to look away Do you think we'd be friends when we were younger? If I knew you back then, God knows who I would be Walking in semicircles to shape this baby face A picture portrait of you, you're pouting Plucked from the days where you couldn't feel a thing A thousand words and always counting But you, I can't explain