In Loving Memory

When trying hard not to remember makes you think about it more
I stand up straight, you measure, and you mark it on the door
Never saw you walk on water, but I watched you mother four
You couldn't raise me like a father
When we're choking on our child support

Well, am I smart or just thinking really hard?
Destined for dementia, doomed right from the very start
And our trauma bond was tangled in tape from the VCR
So sick to my stomach, I was force-fed the fear of the dark

And when you lose all muscle memory
Forget completely how to stand
You know I won't let you forget me
I'll come convince you who I am
Make you understand

Touch and go, now you see me, now you don't
Phantom limb affection, crave the feeling of your ghost
Now you're forging all the symptoms that you never had supposed
Learning to live with them, said it's easier to live alone

Sick from the soothing, drowning in dreams
Shell-shocked in shelter, you'll pass in your sleep
The thorn in my side was grown from your ground
You're never before seen, never again found

And when you lose all muscle memory
Forget completely how to stand
You know I won't let you forget me
I'll come convince you who I am

I came to see
How the world looks without me
Is it all you thought it'd be?
Living in loving memory

You built me a home inside a bucket
And you're poking some holes up top so I can breathe
Knew I was lying if I had to look away
Do you think we'd be friends when we were younger?
If I knew you back then, God knows who I would be
Walking in semicircles to shape this baby face

You built me a home inside a bucket
And you're poking some holes up top so I can breathe
Knew I was lying if I had to look away
Do you think we'd be friends when we were younger?
If I knew you back then, God knows who I would be
Walking in semicircles to shape this baby face

A picture portrait of you, you're pouting
Plucked from the days where you couldn't feel a thing
A thousand words and always counting
But you, I can't explain