Not That Evil

[Bob, Linda] Diarrhea's coming back My family's under attack It's not so great, I do agree I also got a bad wedgie [Louise, Tina] Thought I could prove I'm not a baby But now all of us need saving Dropped my hopes into the ocean Sorry if a fish is choking [Gene, Grover] Sure a lot is happening But I wish I brought my napkin thing It might of helped to calm us down Everybody hush, don't make a sound [Spoken: Louise, Grover] But why are you doing all of this? Okay, good question. I'll allow it [Grover] Look, I'm not that evil, no I'm not a bad person So, I killed one carnie Well it's just 'cause I'm determined To finally get what I think that I'm deservin' And to turn it into something worthy Trust me, I'm sure that you will agree Would you like to hear my master plan? Okay, can you answer faster 'Cause I asked you Would you like to hear my master plan? [Spoken: Louise] Um, yes [Grover] Okay that's more like it I'm so glad that you asked [Spoken: Grover, Calvin, Felix] You see, I'm in the Fischoeder Family Trust, because I'm in the family Well, barely He's from the bad part of the family He means the poor part They're bad because they're poor Shut it! Shut your front door [Spoken: Belchers, Felix] Okay, okay Yeah I said okay [Spoken: Grover, Calvin] So, in this family trust, you see, you're ineligible to receive benefits if you've been convicted of a felony And every single one of them has been All except for cousin Calvin, because he never got caught Yeah, baby Shush! [Spoken: Grover, Calvin, Felix] So, I frame him, and boom Now, if something unfortunate happens to Calvin and Felix, whom will they suspect? Not me, no, no, no Why would they? Something unfortunate is going to happen to us? Uh, yes. Surprise Oh, poo Wait, both of us? Yeah, sorry You were so insistent about going with your brother to Cuba... I bought an outfit Yes, we know But let's just say your submarine isn't going to go to Cuba Oh. Cancun? It won't make it out from under the pier Oh, my Oh, dear [Spoken: Bob, Calvin] Did you think that sub was gonna make it to Cuba? Hmm, I think we might have gotten a little too excited about the sub idea I mean, isn't it just an old ride? Yes, it runs on tokens [Spoken: Louise, Belchers, Gene] But not the best frame job, right? I mean, why bury Cotton Candy Dan in front of our restaurant and then wait six years? Huh Right [Spoken: Grover, Bob] I didn't bury him in front of your restaurant And I didn't wanna wait six years Six years! Easy, easy Maybe we should hold off on the questions [Spken: Grover] I had it all worked out A top-rate murder I shoot Mr. Carnie with Calvin's gun I stick him in a pile of dirt, or whatever yucky stuff was near the entrance to the wharf I leave the stupid foot sticking out, so someone would be sure to see it But little did I know that some numbskull backhoe operator working for the city was gonna scoop up that pile without even checking for dead carnies I come back, I've got no body I didn't know where they'd brought the dirt And it's not like I could go around asking "Hey, what's the word? Did anyone find any dead guys? This tall? Kind of a biter?" It was a nightmare But thankfully, blessedly, your stupid pipe burst and saved the day. The skeleton was found, frame job back on, and it's true what they say, good things happen to good people [Spoken: Calvin, Grover] Wait a second Is this all about your silly mega-park idea? Yes Mm-hmm [Grover, Linda, Bob] This is about my mega-park My much more efficient and profitable Than your stupid pier Mega-park It'll have gift shops Oh So many gift shops I love gift shops And so much parking Lin! And I'll get the best marketers To do the best marketing And indoor motion simulator rides If you could see my scale models Then you'd understand why Cotton Candy Dan Had to die [Spoken: Grover, Tina, Linda] It's gonna be so worth it Okay Because business dreams are about business They're not about dreams That's not true All right then [Grover, Bob] I think I got it figured out I think that this is what I need You're gonna all get in the sub And then I'll launch you in the sea No, no, I don't think that's right [Grover, Belchers, Fischoeders] No, that's right You won't be able to get out The handle's broken from inside Then the pier will be on fire What? Well, you caused it, then you died Oh, that's so careless of us Yeah, what they'll say is this Metal wheels on metal tracks Will cause a spark, a little flare Whoops, the drapes, they catch on fire And it just gets worse from there Up it goes into the Molehill Which now seems to be quite full Of cute and fluffy, very burny Flammable stuffed animals [Spoken: Felix, Calvin] So, they don't come to life? I guess not [Spoken: Grover, Gene, Bob] And then the Molehill turns into Mole Hell That's what we call Dad's back We do? [Grover, Linda, Tina] Oh, oh-oh I have so many problems with this plan Like what? People on the pier? Gone I'm closing early. What else? You would burn in the fire, too? Nope. I made a fuse out of cooking oil, sugar and balloon string All things you'd find in an amusement pier It's gonna go up the stairs, over the roof of this stupid room And arson investigators will never suspect a thing My fuse and my brilliant flammable stuffed animals idea gives me just enough time to get back to the gym, which is my alibi I went there just an hour ago I said the steam room was too steamy I made a pretty damn big show Then I slipped out the window And that's how I got here now I just sneak back in through the window And boom, I've been at the gym three hours [Spoken: Gene, Calvin, Felix] I don't know if you have three hour gym body Sorry Yeah, it's not believable No, you're too pasty Also, your mega-park is mega-dumb And so are you [Spoken: Grover, Calvin] I want to amend my earlier statement Here we go I'm not that evil [Grover] But I'm feeling evil today