I'm Just Dan

[Verse 1] Doesn't seem to matter what I say They're still gonna call me gay I'm not, but I guess that's fine, oh-I I can't even understand my name Asmussen is so lame All my life, just wanna vibe So, I'll drink alone tonight [Chorus 1] 'Cause I'm just Dan All I ever wanted was a friend Is it my Destiny to live and die Alone with my virginity I'm just Dan Lookin' like that guy from Twilight 'Cause my pale ass rarely sees the sunlight Too busy getting hammered every night [Verse 2] I'm twenty-two and don't know how to drive 'Cause I'm a pussy It's kinda sad I hide behind my safety pillow during scary movies I got into a strangеrs car when I was eight No, I wasn't raped [Bridge] Can you feel that еnergy? That crooked eyeball energy Can you feel that energy? That big-balled boy toy energy [Chorus 2] I'm just Dan If you can't tell, I'm kinda coo-coo I like big booties, boobs and lots of booze I'm weird, but I'm kinda cool too I'm just Dan And I will ever understand Why my friends put up with my dumbass But, I'll love them 'till my ass is grass I'm just Dan And I fucking suck My bitch ass worked at Starbucks But hey, I was supposed to be a girl, so I guess that makes sense [Outro] My name's Dan Put that whiskey in my hand So, hey world, check me out Yeah, I'm just Dan Baby, I'm just Dan!