I'm Just Dan

[Verse 1]

Doesn't seem to matter what I say

They're still gonna call me gay

I'm not, but I guess that's fine, oh-I

I can't even understand my name

Asmussen is so lame

All my life, just wanna vibe

So, I'll drink alone tonight

[Chorus 1]

'Cause I'm just Dan

All I ever wanted was a friend

Is it my Destiny to live and die

Alone with my virginity

I'm just Dan

Lookin' like that guy from Twilight

'Cause my pale ass rarely sees the sunlight

Too busy getting hammered every night

[Verse 2]

I'm twenty-two and don't know how to drive

'Cause I'm a pussy

It's kinda sad

I hide behind my safety pillow during scary movies

I got into a strangеrs car when I was eight

No, I wasn't raped

[Bridge]

Can you feel that еnergy?

That crooked eyeball energy

Can you feel that energy?

That big-balled boy toy energy

[Chorus 2]

I'm just Dan

If you can't tell, I'm kinda coo-coo

I like big booties, boobs and lots of booze

I'm weird, but I'm kinda cool too

I'm just Dan

And I will ever understand

Why my friends put up with my dumbass

But, I'll love them 'till my ass is grass

I'm just Dan

And I fucking suck

My bitch ass worked at Starbucks

But hey, I was supposed to be a girl, so I guess that makes sense

[Outro]

My name's Dan

Put that whiskey in my hand

So, hey world, check me out

Yeah, I'm just Dan

Baby, I'm just Dan!