Tick Tock

[Intro] You got a £20 note? Give us a £20 note I'm gonna wrap this up yeah Oi geez giz that mirror Pass that mirror please Give us that mirror please Na that one's all for me mate It's all for me If you want some you're gonna have to-sort yourself out Uh Yeah [Verse 1] Now they say I'm too big for my breeches Apparently it's not intelligent to burn bridges Through history they've always burnt witches Nowadays it seems that we just earn riches Got an iPhone full of pictures of bitches Don't tell my wife cause snitches get stitches Smoking spliffs with Sid Vicious Hand on my heart, none of this is fictitious Told him, if you see left eye, send my best wishes What can I say, I'm overly ambitious In the kitchen but not washing the dishes On the stove cooking up something nutritious All my patrons say my food is delicious That's why the future looks so auspicious Fucked this chick last night and she was from Mauritius Didn't wear a rubber though and now it itches Could this be the cause of these nervous twitches Don't know for sure but I'm getting suspicious This sort of living I couldn't of have envisioned Done so much Charlie that it's blurring my vision About to get a suit fitted by a mortician It's not bad, just means we've come to fruition Management are sick of seeing me in this condition They wanna pull the plug like an electrician No fucks given cuz, I don't audition Got all the way here from Adobe Audition You can suck my dick, yeah you have my permission Listen [Interlude] You know when I was young My uncle used to beat the shit out of me man Belts, canes, whatever he could get his hands on, the cunt I used to pray every night that something would happen to him, something horrible So he would feel how he made me feel, you know And one really rainy day on his way home from work He crashed his motor into a tree The crash didn't kill him but the car burst into flames and he burned alive Witnesses said they heard him screaming for help for minutes until he eventually let go, right They said you could smell the burning flesh for miles man I never told anyone about this until last year When I got smashed on Tequila and ended up telling my bird like She got all emotional and starting crying You know, she squeezed my hand like really hard And said "You see? You see God is great" I was baffed like I said "Why? I never prayed to God in my life" [Verse 2] I'm in the sticks like Pat Jennings And my girl's tits bigger than Kat Dennings' I got a half ounce in my black denims No say it's leng so you know how that's smelling Tottenham, just like Lennon One, drop me on the doorstep like John Lennon Cause I'm fucking more bitches than Ellen Travelling the world just like Magellan Uh, I'm selling, my pockets are swelling Man are well jel and that's why they're telling If you want this half, to get you off your melon Just give me the score like Jeff Stelling Yeah it's CAS but it's not Cass Pennant Na, walk through the ends so many cunts breading Same cunts who be talking shit and spreading These slags want deading Their heads want lead in See me at the festivals, Leeds, Reading With more envelopes than a Greek wedding Yeah it's hot so I watch where I'm treading I don't need the wellies though, I know where I'm heading Tonsil tennis with Jess Ennis I'm holding the mandy, like Les Dennis When I get on it I'm a menace It's drama, it's drama, it's the merchant of Venice Slum lord, bumping my tenants Big can of Tennent's Drugs to sell to everyone in attendance You paid a fortune, I paid a pittance When you see the price tag you're bound to have kittens I shot to the fat one in Atomic Kitten Katona or whatever her name was I sold her some weight, she lost some weight, she's no longer famous Or in my radius I'm in a green Honda Accord Pushing three keys like I'm playing a chord From a place where you get bored And people stand round and applaud People take what they can't afford Forcing whores into doing card fraud From young, we're taught to terrorise for sport That's your wife yeah, well she's a right sort Man will take her without so much as a thought