Ungrateful

I don't wanna seem ungrateful God But I don't wanna be here I got some things to get off my chest But maybe it's best I keep it a secret 31st December, the first of Jan Same shit, I don't care 'bout the new year New house somewhere that ain't poverty driven It's mad in the place that I grew in Yo Served a pregnant lady, it fucked up my head Couple things I regret tryna earn a wage "48 Laws" one book that I read So if I repent can I turn the page? Gotta get rid of bad vibes Anti-clockwise gotta burn the sage, uh I'll say with it chest but I know some things locked in I prefer not to say I fucked up, I'm admittin' it I got no ego, I got no shame I swallow my pride and say that I'm missing it Creep in the changing room at school And teef from the kids that are privileged, uh Stolen clothes with a rip in it Also a stolen phone no SIM in it Now I got P's I give a lot back No charity work tryna write off tax Feds got me on a driving ban In the passenger seat 'til my license back, uh Ghost and fly off the map, uh Try get my mind off rap I get some sort of survivors guilt When I see YM's still supplyin' crack This life don't come with retiring plans It'll come to an end in unfortunate ways No such thing as positive thinkin' When you're locked in, it feel like a maze Often lose faith and forget to pray You don't wanna land on the wing with the guys Why? 'Cause they might melt your face Cuz got hit with a eight, why? Why would he care bout some extra days? I don't wanna seem ungrateful God But I don't wanna be here I got some things to get off my chest But maybe it's best I keep it a secret 31st December, the first of Jan Same shit I don't care 'bout the new year New house somewhere that ain't poverty driven It's mad in the place that I grew in Uh, I ain't been home in some weeks I seek when a man's in need I got a family tree to feed I see dead people in my sleep I see broke people on the feed Talk is cheap freedom of speech, I guess But they ain't even got no Ps Got free Wi-Fi they ain't got 4G Uh, I wouldn't be able to do what I do If it weren't for the man before me I show respect where it's due Where would I be? If I never met YB? Giggs, Ghetts, Chip, Skep, Konan, Krept Kane or Deb, Stormz, Huss, Dave A couple of names, even DBE Uh, my mum lost faith in her son when I left school with no GCSE's Told shorty, "Just 'cause I grew up with nothin' doesn't mean I'm easy to please" When you need a handout, you don't get help Why they all wanna help? I ain't even in need Had one score for an hour of studio time I couldn't even lease the beat Do not disturb me when I'm recordin' My voice sounds clearer than ever, uh Remember they might distortin' I grew in a different era More action, less talkin', he said I'm a dead man walkin' One in your head, there ain't no respawnin', alright I don't wanna seem ungrateful God But I don't wanna be here I got some things to get off my chest But maybe it's best I keep it a secret 31st December, the first of Jan Same shit I don't care 'bout the new year New house somewhere that ain't poverty driven It's mad in the place that I grew in