Lord Knows

[Chorus: Justin Clancy] Now can you promise not to tell nobody that I mighta just lost control? I smoke, I drink, tryna numb that pain, but it don't work no more And doctor, can you give me something, something to feel whole? I'm falling deeper than I ever have before, Lord knows [Verse 1: Chris Webby] I been feeling like I'm racing the clock Minute hand going HAM on the face of the watch Storyline playing, but I stray from the plot As I'm praying that all the medication I popped And chopped down in lines on the countertop stops All the voices in my head, I turn 'em down just a notch The devil on my shoulder, he a fucking chatterbox Always tryna get me canceled and carried out by the cops But I'm still here, pack another beer from the twelve pack Give a cheers to the years and the setbacks Never took twelve steps, I confess that That ain't really in my plan yet, life a chess match And I'm in it for the long haul with y'all Keep a queen running gambit, the pawns'll fall I'm the king, stand tall, and all and all I'm on 'til it's all gone or they call the law Yeah, I smoke, I drink, crush pills on the sink And I know they judge me, but I don't care what y'all think I'm just tryna make it through life, it's slow and slippery as a rink And we all know this shit could end in a blink I'm just tryna do my best like you, you know? They told me life was a bitch and it's true, you know? But no matter what I felt or what hand that I'm dealt I'ma keep pushing through, you know? Yeah [Chorus: Justin Clancy] Now can you promise not to tell nobody that I mighta just lost control? I smoke, I drink, tryna numb that pain, but it don't work no more And doctor, can you give me something, something to feel whole? I'm falling deeper than I ever have before, Lord knows [Post-Chorus: Justin Clancy] Let me break, I got my back against the wall (Lord knows) And I feel that weight no matter what, it's all my fault (Lord knows) [Verse 2: Chris Webby] A false start's what I got up in a race with The best to ever do it, so I try to keep pace with Reaching for a makeshift life raft, anxious Keeping off of opportunity so I can take it Life is a war, no rules of engagement People climbing over each other to hit the A-list Minotaur caught in the mazes With the woman in the red dress as I'm lost in the matrix Had Morpheus give me the red pill And I crush it down and snort it through a hundred dollar bill Anything to make me feel Anything to make the simulation that we living in seem real 'Cause Lord knows, seen highs, but more lows School of hard knocks, had a full course load Tryna get right with myself 'fore the door close Swimming through the gins, Merlots and Bordeaux, I'm So numb that I wish that I felt All the pain in my brain but it really just melts away I need something just to live with myself What the doctor got me, shit, it really just helps For a moment, so those times, I cherish and hold it Learn to deal with it 'cause I never could control it They judge me, I get it, I'm troubled, I'm reckless But at least I fucking own it [Bridge: Justin Clancy] And if I die before I wake Don't let them take my soul away I seen things that no one knows But this just the life I chose, I said I swear I been through it all Them highs, them lows, it's protocol Yeah, I know where I'm from, but where I go Lord knows [Outro: Justin Clancy] Let me break, I got my back against the wall (Lord knows) And I feel that weight no matter what, it's all my fault (Lord knows)