Never Relaxed

[Intro] Now without any further ado, I'm gonna do a little soft shoe And uh, a little boogaloo For you If you want me to, I will [Verse 1] There was this kid named Syd when he was born Maybe the doctor hit him a little too hard He just seemed to have gotten off to a bad start Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed Big brothers and big sisters gave him lots of attention But Syd was a hyperactive kid He just never seemed able to sit still Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed [Refrain] Never rela-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-axed Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed [Verse 2] Unlike the other kids on his block Syd never learned how to walk He just ran around acting nervous Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed He sat in school in detention Drawing funny pictures on the wall Not a moment of peace did Syd ever find Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed [Refrain] Never rela-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-axed Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed [Verse 3] Now when Syd discovered masturbation He just couldn't keep a good thing down But it didn't help much his condition Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed Syd signed up for the army Cause he got tired of working in the pottery And they sent him over to a foreign country Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed [Verse 4] He met this girl in east Germany And she invited him up to her room for some tea Then she pulled out a gun and took his money Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed She shot Syd through the head And Syd died and went to Hell And he burned and he burned and he yelled "I've never been relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed" Now, the devil said this ain't fair Cause people who come here have had their share of comfort So he sat Syd in a reclining chair But it was an electric chair [Refrain] Never rela-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-axed Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed