Never Relaxed

[Intro]

Now without any further ado, I'm gonna do a little soft shoe

And uh, a little boogaloo

For you

If you want me to, I will

[Verse 1]

There was this kid named Syd when he was born

Maybe the doctor hit him a little too hard

He just seemed to have gotten off to a bad start

Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed

Big brothers and big sisters gave him lots of attention

But Syd was a hyperactive kid

He just never seemed able to sit still

Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed

[Refrain]

Never rela-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-axed

Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed

[Verse 2]

Unlike the other kids on his block

Syd never learned how to walk

He just ran around acting nervous

Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed

He sat in school in detention

Drawing funny pictures on the wall

Not a moment of peace did Syd ever find

Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed

[Refrain]

Never rela-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-axed

Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed

[Verse 3]

Now when Syd discovered masturbation

He just couldn't keep a good thing down

But it didn't help much his condition

Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed

Syd signed up for the army

Cause he got tired of working in the pottery

And they sent him over to a foreign country

Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed

[Verse 4]

He met this girl in east Germany

And she invited him up to her room for some tea

Then she pulled out a gun and took his money

Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed

She shot Syd through the head

And Syd died and went to Hell

And he burned and he burned and he yelled

"I've never been relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed"

Now, the devil said this ain't fair

Cause people who come here have had their share of comfort

So he sat Syd in a reclining chair

But it was an electric chair

[Refrain]

Never rela-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-axed

Never relaxed, never relaxed, never relaxed