Panic Attack

Look, I bet them boys think I'm panicking Itching to see how I handle it When snakes start rattling, calm I can show you about harm Put blades in the palms, half the length of my arm I end up in a station and I'm staring into space like a mannequin in Clarks I ain't panicking, I ain't had a random change of heart Cash points and cannabis You cocaine snort, if you think I got caught I'm kicking like a stallion I lived in a yard where my mummy tried hard For all the things that I wanted but my money was inadequate Probably be killed by my cousins back in Africa If they knew I risked my free water, hot food and resources Every day to dress nicer on a camera I don't need your input, fuck you and your manager Fuck him and his lame job It's been two years, you're sitting in the same spot Chilling in the same blocks Me and you are different You talk about beef While I plan your route home bruv I run up in your safe spot and leave the place taped off It's deeper than the name drop Real problems don't need discussions I fear God and not repercussions Look, I'm only angry at the choices that I didn't make I don't regret what I did but what I didn't say And for this money I'm on a different wave It's why I ain't written in this will when I say I'm on his estate It comes arms well I've got an entourage like Vinny Chase This ain't Chiraq, we don't need a .38 Just two young G's, one Nike pouch and his little blade And if you live that day, give thanks to your God 'Cause there isn't one prayer mummy didn't say Still wonder what my dad would say And it's fucked 'cause I just wanted us to bond like Sean Connery and Daniel Craig No first steps, nah, my daddy couldn't see me cry I'm still searching for the reason why I was six months old at a bus stop My mum no home struggling to Ketamine like a legal high When so volatile, look over the reasons why People die, man this beef never sleeps or slides Man are dying over minor violations So I keep the beef and the bread separate like TGI's They touch us and we pay 'em back like it's PPI Fuck it, let's ride, get animated like CGI Dead being a hype man Can't find my man and then I'll settle for his right hand You can't buy heart remember Hawk eye, you think these undercover cars could get us Or that I can't spot the bacon in the passing Vectras Don't you find it funny that I study law And still recruit young fraud stars like I'm Harvey Specter Hot headed, I swear that I had a dream though A young fire before I had spoken with Avelino And nowadays music's got my schedule looking hectic I ain't got a timeline, I'm Travolta with Tarantino Look, I ain't slacking, it's money over passion I mean passion over money, hate this money with a passion Money is just a paper I got value of my assets, I got value of my mental It's me, Fraser or 169 on an instrumental I swear that'll make it rapping Even if that kills me I swear that'll make it happen On my digital piano until my hands bled literally I was smashing keys 'til my fingers grew callus How could I fear rappers? I feel words, hear colours, defeat challenge Give thanks to my synaesthesia I ain't a rapper I'm a fucking genius So when I see you don't panic Remember what you said on the roads, there's no lacking I don't wanna see you draw for your boot, there's no time I'll jump out the passenger side like there's no traffic Catch you with your girl or your mum, you'd do the same So we'll take you to an inch of your life for all your chatting Shut your fucking mouth and make p's I used to let disrespect slide to make peace Now it's like I'm stuck in two minds in my reaction 'Cause my pride and my ego turned giant like James Dean I'm a mess right, and if that catty doesn't fuck me the third time With no strings attached like a test drive I'm telling her I'm cutting in the next 5 All communication breaking down like an enzyme My second's the most precious commodity I invest time I was late every day straight for three years Guess that's two ways that I could never make a deadline I was out in Powerleague Norbury in my North Face camo In the rain, hail, sleet, with my football in a deadline Scraping by on pennies, trying to link a jezzy On my 8520 and I couldn't link one Squares was a game Had me all stressed Got finessed by my main And he didn't get touched Had me sitting there pissed Thinking 'bout my people All the times that we missed Like have you ever lost love? Have you ever had a guy that would die so you live in a cage Kept away from your brother and your mum In my world you're unsure to the people you can trust And when you lose the only person that was there from the jump I'm as humble as they come And I ain't changed from the knife and the cypher to the shotgun shells in the party with a pump Ask Edem, ask Paddy With squares I had strikers but I'm more like Ibra Over Vardy when it's beef Because I hardly ever run I've got pride I've seen man running for their life Get caught, now they're covering their heart and their lungs with their arms on his ones 'Cause his right hand panicked And I don't even blame him Seen a man scream while he bleeds on the pavement Guts in his hands, civilians with tissue putting pressure where the pain is The panic as you fade in, blocking out sounds Like your body shuts down when your organs start failing Knife crime dangerous, next day famous Give it six years they won't remember what your name is Everything changes when your case is irrelevant And all the guys who claim they would ride in your name looking lost them boys don't have half the heart to settle it I've seen a whole class end up dead or in jail Ask Scales about times he was chilling with my brother in a chicken shop opposite the entrance to Tenison's Everybody's dying, but nobody is rising up a Remington We've got shanks, and false hope everybody's selling it You ain't getting rich quick trying to sell big bits Too lazy to work so you want to own a business Or a clothing line, no vision You can't cut corners in a line of life Karma's like the tightest vice I'm running on my own CCTV's in your hands bro, they've got it in your phone If they catch me going home Looking for another young rapper to expose I'm probably cutting from the scene 'Cause with all the evidence they gain I'm getting more than just assault I ain't living for the 'gram, man are snitching on the cam If I hit him then I'm dumb, but if he dips me he's the man I can't win, there's no way I'm handling that If I run then I'm a neek, but if I don't then I'm a fool So on road I'm looking happy but I'm screaming in my head having panic attacks They got me anxious And two wrong responses from a shanking at any given time I been there and done that on many different nights It's probably the reason that I got many different rhymes I'm really living life