Christmas Infiltration

[Intro: Abed (Danny Pudi) & Troy (Donald Glover)] What if you were a Jehovah's Witness That was merely pretending to be into Christmas Gathering clues and blending in To take down the holidays from within? You mean like a spy, investigating? Making it seem like I'm celebrating When actually I'm infiltrating Santa's operation? (Yoip!) [Verse 1: Troy (Donald Glover)] Going deep cover past enemy lines Making everybody think I'm on the Christmas side Rockin' warm sweaters, hangin' big ass lights If the fat man could see me, yo, it's gotta look right I'll watch all the TV specials that I never could I'll even cry during the sad ones like James Bond would And when the big night comes, it's time to set the bait Cold milk, hot cookies, decorative plates! And he'll come down the chimney and it will be just him and me But he won't know we're enemies, 'cause I'll play sincere Bring a trap, like that, hug him tight, get on his lap And tell him he can come back every year 'Cause I am Jehovah's most secret witness So I might have to dedicate my life to Christmas And act just like I love it 'til the day I die [Verse 2: Abed (Danny Pudi)] A-B-E-D Connoisseur of Christmas On the spectrum? None of your business Thoughts too fast to comprehend Just wanna do right by my friend If years were seasons, this December Would be the December of our December More blueprints than Howard Hughes But if there are blueprints, how do we choose? We have to be happy to get to the end We have to save Christmas to save our friends [Refrain: Abed (Danny Pudi) & Troy (Donald Glover)] We have to save Christmas to save our friends We have to save Christmas to save our friends!