The Opener

[Spoken: Sun Kil Moon] I got off the plane at the Tampa airport and walked outside Into the Florida sun was shining And I was met by a tall grungy redheaded promoter guy And his shaved-headed friend who was Along for the ride In my line of work, "friend who was along for the ride" Means "fan who wants to eavesdrop on my life" Over the years, I've found ways of blocking out the noise I've found ways to dodge, to askew[?], to divert, to avoid For that ride to the hotel I pulled out a copy Of Ring Magazine And I started reading it with serious intensity Boxing was a subject that my instincts told me Neither of them knew anything about If you appear to be immersed in something People will leave you alone if they know nothing About the publication you appear to be immersed in reading "Mark, so what are you gonna do tonight When you get into your hotel Would you like to join us for dinner?" "Thanks but I'm gonna try to watch the Angel Manfredy fight On my hotel TV it's on the TNT network." "Um, we're not actually in a hotel It's more like a motel but hey You seem like you're really into boxing." "Yeah." When we arrived at the hotel I asked what time soundcheck was the next day And said thank you for the ride and goodbye And when they drove off the fan in the passenger seat Looked upset and frustrated like he wanted to cry I successfully watched the Manfredy fight In a thick carpeted room that smelled like air freshener and mold The next day at soundcheck the jaded sound guy Was bringing a PA system into the bar I asked, "Why doesn't this place have its own PA?" The place definitely has a big enough stage They could fit a four-piece band The place had flatscreen TVs on three of the walls And a small PA system would've fit right in I could picture cover bands playing in there While about fifty people hooted and hollered And had a good time Eating chicken wings and drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon Or whatever it is that people in Florida Like drinking The guy who was along for the ride Lingered around observing the soundcheck While the jaded sound guy Was pushing knobs and not having much luck With getting a good sound, yet being Poker-faced about it When a thin guy who resembled a young Peter Murphy Walked in with a guitar case, he was the opener I greeted him warmly but he was very smug towards me Didn't say more than a few words, if that I don't recall much from the show except that it was awful Like awkward sex when you're having Trouble keeping it up But whatever the case may be You're just happy when it's over And it's finally done And I left the venue That I believe was named after the Creedence Clearwater song "Fortunate One" with two women Who were happy to give me a ride to my motel While we drove along One of them asked me How I liked the opener I said "Uh, I didn't watch, to tell you the truth." She said "That's okay, he doesn't like you." I said "That's interesting, you mean me personally or my music And I wonder why?" She said "I don't know, that's just what he told me He doesn't like you." We closed the door behind us and the girls sat At the edge of my motel bed The first words out of the chattiest one's mouth were "Can we find some porn to watch?" "I'm not into porn, especially when it seems like none is required." Me and two DTF rocker girls in a Tampa motel Was good enough for me but hey there I was With a remote control in my hand Trying to find some porn for us to watch As I was searching for porn Suddenly there was a (knock) on my door I said "Who is it" they said, "The cops." My heart was pounding and the girls got quiet really fast I looked through the peephole of the door And there were four big rednecks with cap[?] hats Standing outside "What's wrong?" I asked "We're just kidding," they said "We're not the cops, those are our girlfriends in there with you." And I said "Aw shit," And I let the guys in I asked, "How'd you guys find my address?" They said "The opener gave it to us." I said "Oh my god, how'd he get it?" They said, "From a friend of the promoter He said he picked you up from the airport And you were reading a boxing magazine And they hung out for an hour Drinking their beers and laughing and talking And then they all left."