Thirteen Years Later

I hate that I wrote that song about you (I hate that I wrote that song about you) Hate that I just moved on without you Hate that a constant fog surrounds you Hate that I never talked about you (Hate that I never talked about you) I hate that I never thought to doubt you more Cause I was thirteen with a mind conflicted (Thirteen with a mind conflicted) I hate that you can't describe your sickness Hate that you had prescribed addictions Hate that you made your life a prison (Hate that you made your life a prison) I hate every night that I found on the floor But it's never as black and white as they make it out to be I remember the good and bad and the spaces in between I let it be You couldn't see And then you couldn't breathe It's been thirteen years now Since I laid these fears out on the floor Wish you heard me clear now I had to take these mirrors down once before Self-destructive no control I hate to say I told you so I wish you tried to make amends I'll never see your face again I hate to think it's like that If l bring your life back I would I hope you're better off now I hate that my head is a mess I hate that you never confessed I hate that it led to your death I hate every night that you siphoned The Vicodin I couldn't find any left Hate that you had no humility Hate every fear you instilled in me Hate there was never stability Hate all the mental fragility Hate that your memory's killing me I still wrote this song about you Willingly You weren't there when I needed you So much for responsibility You had some cuts that were bleeding through I could have tried for civility You could have been more agreeable Cause they really needed you But it's never as black and white as they make it out to be I remember the good and bad and the spaces in between I let it be You couldn't see And then you couldn't breathe I let this get inside my head Time and time again In every epilogue I've read Seems like they never find the end It's been thirteen years now Since I laid these fears out on the floor Wish you heard me clear now I had to take these mirrors down once before Self-destructive no control I hate to say I told you so I wish you tried to make amends I'll never see your face again I hate to think it's like that If l bring your life back I would I hope you're better off now