(Some shit that I wrote on some uh, down down quarantine type shit, you know what I mean?)
(Ekoh)
Yeah
No I'm not trying to win a challenge I'm trying to find some balance
Going down this rabbit hole in hopes to find my Alice
But I found that action futile, I need to practice moving on
'Cause I got calluses from holding onto shit too long
I'm writing songs in hopes I find myself in all these words
And tryna make a little money in the process, sure
But first, tell me what the fuck is happiness
'Cause I been looking back and trying to see when I was happiest
I got the thing I wanted now I'm dying trying to manage it
Think that I was happier before I even had this shit
Okay
Tell me what the fuck to do now
I spent a decade building this house than wanna move out
You lose now, than everyone talking shit was right
But what does it matter in the grand scheme of life, right?
Like what a dream and than it pictures this:
The videos all just make it look like it's cash and bitches
I miss the day when I could find a real escape in music
And now I just get anxious every time I listen to it
Yeah your twitter feed is garbage I'm feeding it to myself
But comparing myself to others is killing my mental health, uh
My girl is telling me that I should hit a meeting, yeah
But I dont wanna hit another fucking meeting, damn
I feel bad all the time being stuck in my head
And than expecting her to come and talk me off the fucking ledge
That ain't a friend, that's a codependent
I'll hold this shit and know the truth but I just won't admit it
And yeah I told you I would stop and take a break but didn't
I know it's hard for me to chill when I don't know the ending
And the truth is when I think about the end that shit is scary too
But if there's one thing that I know, I wanna be with you
The only constant in the world is always changing and these fans can be fickle
The music it might not make it
I'm just being real, I'm not gonna gas this shit up like it's the greatest shit ever
Nah, if you like it you like it, fuck
I'm not gonna out the pressure on me to impress who?
A bunch of strangers on the net who never met you
But know this shit talk gets likes and another 10 views
So rip apart your dream 'cause I'm dying to be accepted too
Nah, I'm done being a punching bag
For punching bags go and punch, I ain't punching back
Something snapped, I'm might never be the same again
But I feel better after writing this, I'm saved again
The cause of the stress, the cure for my woes
And yeah I'm happy right now, that's the way that It goes
And so...
