Salome Maloney (Live at The Ritz)

Alright, let's talk about The Ritz Doctor John Cooper Clarke Wrote a poem called, "Salome Maloney, the queen of The Ritz" I'm just gonna do the first three really quick (in a lady's voice!) I tried that earlier, no, no When I was walking down Oxford Road When I was walking down Oxford Road Dressed in what they call the mode I could hear them spinning all their smash hits At the mecca of the modern dance, the Ritz My feet foxtrotted, me sh-, ah Me shoulders did the shimmy The bouncer on the door said, "Gimme, gimme, gimme" I gave 'em the tickets, they gave me the shits No healthy arguments in the Ritz Standing by the cig' machine, who did I see In lurex and terylene, she hypnotised me I asked her name, she said "It's" "Salome Maloney, queen of the Ritz" Lacquered in a beehive Her barnet didn't budge Wet-look lips, she smiled as sweet as fudge She had a number on her back And sequins on her tits The sartorial requirements For females in the Ritz