I Almost Had A Weakness

[Verse 1] Thank you for the flowers I threw them on the fire And I burned the photographs that you had enclosed God they were ugly children So you're that little bastard of that brother of mine Trying to trick a poor old woman Till I almost had a weakness [Verse 2] Last week Cousin Florence Bit your Uncle Joe Hit him on the forehead with a knife and a fork Said that he looked like the devil Then she said, "Pass the vinegar," I'm beginning to think That I'm the only one who hasn't taken to the drinking of it Though I almost had a weakness [Verse 3] It pains me to mention These delicate concerns But while I have to tolerate you family jewels I really mustn't grumble 'Cause when I die the cats and dogs will jump up and down And you little swines will get nothing Though I almost had a weakness