[Intro]
Yo
Turn me up, I'm so down
Hey, yeah
[Verse]
If only I was the same person who was thinking he was so grown
When he was shy of 21 years old
Thing is, we was able to check off most of them goals
Through the stories that I told
That was back when I kept power steering fluid in the car
As I roll down the road 'cause the wheel can lock up on me at anytime, you never know
Abstain from the stains now, left stains on my soul
A strain on my spirit, still abstain from the smoke
My lungs in recovery mode from cribs with mold
Had to stop thinking the scarcity, but you know we was told
"You always see things in deficit", we was broke
I'm talking water in the detergent to stretch the soap
But coins won't bring back everybody that's gone
I lost enough bros to fit an NFL roster
It weighs up on my mind constant
I told myself I wasn't gonna write from
A point of pain no more, but that's a lie
That's also before I knew how many was gonna die
And know how, but not why
So what you when you look in my eyes?
All the trauma I hide
All the hurt I disguise
So what you see when you think about our lives?
And all the times that I've tried and feel guilty that we alive
All the times that I've tried
I pray my heart is still pure 'cause it almost got me a couple times
I hope my hear still has a home in yours
The way yours has a home in mine
I know mine a little fragile, it's been dropped sometimes
I even question at times if falling in love was in my design
'Cause for so long I couldn't see it
I pray to God that I'm very far away from my zenith
But I'm equally as far away from all my demons
I came a long way from only wanting things out of Neimans
Now I pray for peace and for my mama's health to last at least a 100 seasons
I could say a 100 reasons why love more important than gold
Why romantic relationships don't work unless you whole
Why faith is more than what you know, it's more how you feel
A diligence can take you far even without a deal
How tough it is to deal with remorse, you gotta heal
Remember in my homegirl car behind the wheel
Almost got us killed
You never know what people deal with in silence
I still got wounds that ain't heal from the riots
Well, internally
I mean, damn, dog, I'm trying
I'm tryna deal with the violence
'Member finding out that my lil' homie was dying
And then I closed my eyes and I could still hear the silence, mhm
I wish I was capable of tellin' you I'm doin' more than writin'
But right now I'm just survivin'
Honestly, that's enough to keep on tryin', we back in mode
