Recovery Mode

[Intro]

Yo

Turn me up, I'm so down

Hey, yeah

[Verse]

If only I was the same person who was thinking he was so grown

When he was shy of 21 years old

Thing is, we was able to check off most of them goals

Through the stories that I told

That was back when I kept power steering fluid in the car

As I roll down the road 'cause the wheel can lock up on me at anytime, you never know

Abstain from the stains now, left stains on my soul

A strain on my spirit, still abstain from the smoke

My lungs in recovery mode from cribs with mold

Had to stop thinking the scarcity, but you know we was told

"You always see things in deficit", we was broke

I'm talking water in the detergent to stretch the soap

But coins won't bring back everybody that's gone

I lost enough bros to fit an NFL roster

It weighs up on my mind constant

I told myself I wasn't gonna write from

A point of pain no more, but that's a lie

That's also before I knew how many was gonna die

And know how, but not why

So what you when you look in my eyes?

All the trauma I hide

All the hurt I disguise

So what you see when you think about our lives?

And all the times that I've tried and feel guilty that we alive

All the times that I've tried

I pray my heart is still pure 'cause it almost got me a couple times

I hope my hear still has a home in yours

The way yours has a home in mine

I know mine a little fragile, it's been dropped sometimes

I even question at times if falling in love was in my design

'Cause for so long I couldn't see it

I pray to God that I'm very far away from my zenith

But I'm equally as far away from all my demons

I came a long way from only wanting things out of Neimans

Now I pray for peace and for my mama's health to last at least a 100 seasons

I could say a 100 reasons why love more important than gold

Why romantic relationships don't work unless you whole

Why faith is more than what you know, it's more how you feel

A diligence can take you far even without a deal

How tough it is to deal with remorse, you gotta heal

Remember in my homegirl car behind the wheel

Almost got us killed

You never know what people deal with in silence

I still got wounds that ain't heal from the riots

Well, internally

I mean, damn, dog, I'm trying

I'm tryna deal with the violence

'Member finding out that my lil' homie was dying

And then I closed my eyes and I could still hear the silence, mhm

I wish I was capable of tellin' you I'm doin' more than writin'

But right now I'm just survivin'

Honestly, that's enough to keep on tryin', we back in mode