Somewhere Inbetween

I've been pretending to be somebody else since I was just fifteen And I don't know if the show was for them or for me anymore I'm not sure and I don't recall being born But I remember being underwhelmed when I worked out who I was Because that didn't fit with any of the feelings I'd been feeling, the things I started thinking as a kid Who didn't know how to feel but could instinctively pretend Put on a show, was it for them? I have forgotten where this ends Blinking in the light, emerging into something Something isn't right, something isn't working No one on my side, no sense of where I'm standing Half my fucking life caught somewhere in-between I have been waiting for someone to say they've found out I'm a fake A foundling fraudster on the take, a huckster hustling half his name Around the world, and I'd reply, goodness knows you're right I know that guy, that is to say, I do not know that man at all After all, no one can, there's nothing there to know It's just a show, oh, the lights are on but nobody is home They kicked me out years ago, changed the locks and took my keys My memories seen through a window, like something I don't really own Blinking in the light, emerging into something Something isn't right, something isn't working No one on my side, no sense of where I'm standing Half my fucking life caught somewhere in-between Is it so much to ask? To be offered some protection To be let go by the past, to feel some acceptance To find somewhere to belong and something to belong to A place where I'm allowed anywhere but in-between Half my fucking life blinking in the darkness Stuck on the outside, sick and mostly harmless A stranger to myself, but still chasing their forgiveness For anything I did when I was somewhere in-between Always somewhere in-between