Cinnabar Island

I can't stop staring at my fridge I know I need to eat but I'll be full with indecision At the end of the night Not like I have an appetite anyway It is what it is Why is our existence anchored down by contradiction? At the bat of an eye Needing food has now become an existential crisis My stomach is writhing The questions arising Without any answers I'm losing track of time Turn the lights off Lay down Deep breath And imagine Sounds of the ocean Sand on your feet The crashing of waves Revel in simplicity Of a body of water How much life it keeps What's left that is unknown In the depths of the sea? Oh shit Oh fuck Oh no God damn it, here we go again The realization of my petty insignificance It's really settling in Just how small that I really am Descending and diving The oxygen depriving Feeling of pressure At the lowest, darkest point of the ocean floor If maybe I just swim Kick as hard as I can With the current The undertow won't drag me down I can see the rays of light Reflecting down above me Just within my reach Is the breath that I need I breach the surface And swim to shore I'm feeling weak My body's sore Wake up to sounds of the ocean Face down on the beach Exhausted and broken With sand in my teeth How the fuck did I get here? I just needed to eat Now I'm in my own bed I must have fallen asleep When I turned the lights off And laid down Stem the tide of my thoughts Slow my brain down Slow my brain down