V.I.P.

I'm a very important person I park in the V.I.P And when I go to the bathroom I go in the V.I.P. toilet And when I wanna change a lightbulb I don't do it myself, oh no I have a technician 'cause I'm a V.I.P I'm a V.I.P I'm a V.I.P I'm a V.I.P Now, as I began to become a V.I.P I forgot what I'd become a V.I.P. for I began to grow accustomed to people saying "Right this way, sir, drinks are on the house" Flight attendants on airplanes saying "Please, really, I don't wanna bother you, sir But it's such a pleasure to have you here on board May I have your autograph for my daughter?" "Yeah baby, right after I go to the toilet I'll give you a couple of 'em 'cause I'm a V.I.P!" Now, one thing about V.I.P. is they never seem to be alone The "true" V.I.P. must travel with an entourage People who say "Right on, boss" Cause it's a V.I.P! Right on, boss I'm a V.I.P! As I began to realize that I had gained V.I.P status Worries began to creep in What if one day, I woke up and I was no longer a V.I.P? No more good tables at the restaurants No more strange women smiling And approaching me on the streets No more top-notch booty No more entourage to say "Right, boss" I began to have nightmares And in my nightmares, I was just a fucking nobody Laying at the beach, imagining myself being a VIP Just like I was before Hearing the applause in my head Beautiful warm embraces of superior members of the female gender VIP VIP Of course, when one becomes a V.I.P Inevitably one meets other V.I.Ps at social occasions And one inevitably thinks "How shallow and crass these people are They're not down to earth and real like me Oooohhh no ! I'm a very special V.I.P." Another interesting phenomenon associated with V.I.P celebrityhood is the "V.I.P reflection effect" During which anyone associated with the V.I.P Becomes a sort of V.I.P in their own right Such as the "Son OF the V.I.P" "Guitar player FOR the V.I.P" "Girlfriend WITH the V.I.P" "Accountants of the V.I.P" The maid, the dog, the music publisher All enjoy a sort of 'reflected glory', as in "Hi this is Nastea, I work for Iggy And I'd like six tables tonight in the V.I.P section And he needs passes for everyone And free drinks of course in the V.I.P area" Right on, boss, 'cause i'm a V.I.P It's also true that when one is a V.I.P Everybody is happy to see you all the time And there is an implicit rule That a V.I.P. must never never be on a bummer 'Cause everybody expects you to make their day And woe be on to you if you're in a bad mood They will "thck!tchk!tchk ! murmur murmur mur!" And you will find yourself with the wrong kind of attention A "difficult" V.I.P Psychologists tell us that a sense of self-esteem Is so necessary in today's world As a V.I.P., I can guarantee you, you'll never be alone You'll never be alone 'Cause you're a V.I.P!