V.I.P.

I'm a very important person

I park in the V.I.P

And when I go to the bathroom

I go in the V.I.P. toilet

And when I wanna change a lightbulb

I don't do it myself, oh no

I have a technician 'cause I'm a V.I.P

I'm a V.I.P

I'm a V.I.P

I'm a V.I.P

Now, as I began to become a V.I.P

I forgot what I'd become a V.I.P. for

I began to grow accustomed to people saying

"Right this way, sir, drinks are on the house"

Flight attendants on airplanes saying

"Please, really, I don't wanna bother you, sir

But it's such a pleasure to have you here on board

May I have your autograph for my daughter?"

"Yeah baby, right after I go to the toilet

I'll give you a couple of 'em 'cause I'm a V.I.P!"

Now, one thing about V.I.P. is they never seem to be alone

The "true" V.I.P. must travel with an entourage

People who say "Right on, boss"

Cause it's a V.I.P!

Right on, boss

I'm a V.I.P!

As I began to realize that I had gained V.I.P status

Worries began to creep in

What if one day, I woke up and I was no longer a V.I.P?

No more good tables at the restaurants

No more strange women smiling

And approaching me on the streets

No more top-notch booty

No more entourage to say "Right, boss"

I began to have nightmares

And in my nightmares, I was just a fucking nobody

Laying at the beach, imagining myself being a VIP

Just like I was before

Hearing the applause in my head

Beautiful warm embraces of superior members of the female gender

VIP

VIP

Of course, when one becomes a V.I.P

Inevitably one meets other V.I.Ps at social occasions

And one inevitably thinks

"How shallow and crass these people are

They're not down to earth and real like me

Oooohhh no ! I'm a very special V.I.P."

Another interesting phenomenon associated with V.I.P celebrityhood is the "V.I.P reflection effect"

During which anyone associated with the V.I.P

Becomes a sort of V.I.P in their own right

Such as the "Son OF the V.I.P"

"Guitar player FOR the V.I.P"

"Girlfriend WITH the V.I.P"

"Accountants of the V.I.P"

The maid, the dog, the music publisher

All enjoy a sort of 'reflected glory', as in

"Hi this is Nastea, I work for Iggy

And I'd like six tables tonight in the V.I.P section

And he needs passes for everyone

And free drinks of course in the V.I.P area"

Right on, boss, 'cause i'm a V.I.P

It's also true that when one is a V.I.P

Everybody is happy to see you all the time

And there is an implicit rule

That a V.I.P. must never never be on a bummer

'Cause everybody expects you to make their day

And woe be on to you if you're in a bad mood

They will "thck!tchk!tchk ! murmur murmur mur!"

And you will find yourself with the wrong kind of attention

A "difficult" V.I.P

Psychologists tell us that a sense of self-esteem

Is so necessary in today's world

As a V.I.P., I can guarantee you, you'll never be alone

You'll never be alone

'Cause you're a V.I.P!