Random Tears

[Intro: J-Formz] Psh, shit... We're back here huh? We never left... That, that's good, that's good... [Verse 1: J-Formz] This one's gonna be a problem, they ain't gonna like what I say Everyone tellin me I need to talk, so fuck it, ok Where to start? Hmm, how about here: Can't even look forward to nothin cause I'm livin in fear Time is passin me by, if I'm excited for somethin That's next year, well, when it's gets here, my mind'll be buggin Like: "I'm one year closer", but closer to what? You know what? I ain't even goin there, I'll shut up You see, I can't, now I'm sittin here trapped in a hole Thinkin: "Nobody really miss you like that when you die old" Life is writin a book in permanent ink Watchin the chapters fly by every time that you blink How many pages you got you wish that you could replace? Spillin your life and never knowin if a reader awaits You pen a best seller? They don't give a fuck what you wrote They're judgin from the shelf, so make sure your cover is dope But... [Chorus: Sample from Joe Budden - (Intro) All Love Lost] But this is bigger than havin a debt I mean I can't stop my brain from imaginin death Then, out the clear blue sky, I cry random tears Used to it, me and depression been a tandem for years I suffer from self doubt, put a cramp in my fears If there's a God, this would be the perfect span to appear Out the clear blue sky, I cry random tears Out the clear blue sky, I cry random tears [Verse 2: J-Formz] They always hit me with: "Yo, Formz, why you make sad shit?" I got no choice, you think I wanna feel like this? And the worst part is, when I'm actually happy Somethin inside just won't let me believe that's me Ain't comfortable in my own skin, I can't win I get lost in my head like: "Where the fuck have I been!?" People talk to me, I gotta say: "What??" 50 times Ain't got a hearing problem, just busy arguin in my mind And then they try and tell me: "You're just in your own head..." There ain't nowhere else to go, this where I'm born and bread I really think I need somethin to believe in But I don't think that half of you people really believe what you're believin I am who God made me? Then, he made me to not know if God is real So, he should know how I feel But nah, but molestin a kid is nothin? And my rebuttal is: God must be a selfish motha fucka... Think about it... [Chorus: Sample from Joe Budden - (Intro) All Love Lost] [Verse 3: J-Formz] Ain't soul searchin, I think I know who I am I try and like me, but I don't really know if I can I'm too real with myself, sometimes I wish I could lie I react a certain way, and then I'm wonderin why If somethin ain't doin what it should, I'll probably break it So if my brain ain't workin right, how much longer can I take it? I'm too busy doin nothin, I got no time to eat It's like I'm always in bed, but I'm never asleep I'm not sure that its' the music that I'm listenin to There's gotta be another reason why I'm miserable I know the more fun you have, the quicker time go So maybe if I'm always depressed, it'll go slow, I dunno One day ask someone to play A game of russian roulette, what you expect that they'll say? They'll probably hit you with a: "No way!" It's fucked up, we got no choice, we really playin every day But... [Chorus: Sample from Joe Budden - (Intro) All Love Lost]