Illegal Smile

[Verse 1] When I woke up this morning, things were looking bad Seemed like total silence was the only friend I had A bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down and won And it was twelve o'clock before I realized that I was having no fun Ah, but fortunately I have the key to escape reality [Chorus] And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone No, I'm just trying to have me some fun [Verse 2] Last time I checked my bankroll, it was getting thin Sometimes it seems like the bottom is the only place I've been Chased a rainbow down a one-way street, dead end And all my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen Ah, but fortunately I have the key to escape reality [Chorus] And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone No, I'm just trying to have me some fun [Verse 3] Well, I sat down in my closet with all my overalls Trying to get away from all the ears inside my walls I dreamed the police heard everything I thought, what then? Well, I went to court and the judge's name was Hoffman Ah, but fortunately I have the key to escape reality [Chorus] And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone No, I'm just trying to have me some fun [Outro] Well done Hot dog bun My sister's a nun