Illegal Smile

[Verse 1]

When I woke up this morning, things were looking bad

Seemed like total silence was the only friend I had

A bowl of oatmeal tried to stare me down and won

And it was twelve o'clock before I realized that I was having no fun

Ah, but fortunately I have the key to escape reality

[Chorus]

And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile

It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while

Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone

No, I'm just trying to have me some fun

[Verse 2]

Last time I checked my bankroll, it was getting thin

Sometimes it seems like the bottom is the only place I've been

Chased a rainbow down a one-way street, dead end

And all my friends turned out to be insurance salesmen

Ah, but fortunately I have the key to escape reality

[Chorus]

And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile

It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while

Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone

No, I'm just trying to have me some fun

[Verse 3]

Well, I sat down in my closet with all my overalls

Trying to get away from all the ears inside my walls

I dreamed the police heard everything I thought, what then?

Well, I went to court and the judge's name was Hoffman

Ah, but fortunately I have the key to escape reality

[Chorus]

And you may see me tonight with an illegal smile

It don't cost very much, but it lasts a long while

Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone

No, I'm just trying to have me some fun

[Outro]

Well done

Hot dog bun

My sister's a nun