Indoor Games

[Verse 1] Indoor fireworks amuse your kitchen staff Dusting plastic garlic plants they snigger in the draught When you ride through the parlour wearing nothing but your armour [Refrain] Playing indoor games [Verse 2] One string puppet shows amuse your sycophantic friends Who cheer your rancid recipes in fear they might offend Whilst you loaf on your sofa, sporting falsies and a toga [Refrain] Playing indoor games, indoor game [Verse 3] Your mean teetotum sins arouse your seventh wife Who pats her sixty little skins and reinsures your life Whilst you sulk in your sauna 'cause you lost your jigsaw corner [Refrain] Playing indoor games, indoor games [Verse 4] Each afternoon you train baboons to sing Or swim in purple perspex water wings Come Saturday jump chopper, Chelsea brigade Hard bender-trender [Refrain] It's all indoor games [Instrumental Break] [Verse 5] No ball bagatelle incites your children to conspire They slide across your frying pan and fertilise your fire Still you and Jones go madder, broken bones, broken ladder [Outro] Hey ho Yeah, *laughter* Hey ho, *laughter*